Scrubs

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 3 Episode 19: "My Choosiest Choice of All"

J.D.: She's already back with Sean.
Carla: How soon after you guys hooked up?
J.D.: About ninety seconds.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: What should I do?
J.D.'s Narration: That was a huge mistake. Because the closer Turk and Carla got to their wedding, the more they became one of those annoying couples that thought they knew everything about relationships.
Turk/Carla: Look, J.D...
Turk: You first, honey.
Carla: J.D., love is like a butterfly. Hold it too tight and... you'll crush it.
Turk: Too loose and it flies away.
 • Rating: Unrated

Irv: I'm sorry, sir. But there's no parking allowed at the emergency curb. But I'd be happy to park your car for ya, and run the keys up to you in a jiff.
Guy: Yeah... Except this is my only set? And I'm afraid you might eat them. Okay? See ya, tubs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Irv: I've been trying like the d**kens to cut down on my snacking, but it's just so-
J.D.: Ehp-ehp-ehp! You look great, Irv!
J.D.'s Narration: Irv didn't look great, but I didn't have time to talk.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Danni!?
J.D.'s Narration: When you run into someone you used to date, either you find them totally annoying or enough time has passed that you've idealized everything about them.
Danni: Hey, J.D.
J.D.'s Narration(mocking): "Hey, Jay-Dee!"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D.: I'm actually on my way to see somebody, so, you know...
Danni: Oh, okay. I'll see you later.
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, be nice.
J.D.: Danni, wait! How've you been?
Danni: Well, actually, I-
J.D.: Ooh! Gotta go!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: J.D., I can't talk right now.
J.D.: Should we just hold each other?
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Aww, Bambi freeze up again?
Turk: It's not our problem, honey.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: Listen, J.D... Last night was really important to me.
J.D.: I know. I mean, you don't want to be rusty at sex before you throw down with your real boyfriend, do ya?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Miller: Oh, yeah. That incision's healing up nicely.
Jeff: Thanks again, Dr. Miller. I'm gonna have my band write a song about you.
Dr. Miller: Well, I'm glad I struck a chord!
Dr. Cox: Yeah, listen: While you were proving once and for all that pretty girls do not in fact need to be funny...
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr Cox: I went ahead and took a look at your little rock star's chart.
Dr. Miller: Oh, didja?
Dr. Cox: Yes, I did. And his urine output is dropping, so you should probably start him on Lasix.
Dr. Miller: You amuse me. So even though he's post-op and still technically my patient, I'm gonna pretend to consider your opinion before I walk away and do whatever I want! Hmm. No!
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Do you have to do that here?
Danni: What? I like smoking after sex.
J.D.: And during. God, you never used to smoke!
Danni: Yeah, but back then I was pretending to be someone I thought you wanted me to be, and that didn't work. So now... I'm gonna let the real me come out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Honestly, Jordan, I have never despised anyone more.
Jordan: Oh, my God. You have a crush on her.
Dr. Cox: Who said who to what now?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: Okay. This badge is now yours.
Janitor: I just want to thank you for believing in me. And I want to assure you that I am gonna be guarding these hospital gates the way Cerberus guarded the gates of Hell!
Dr. Kelso: Yeah, that's terrific.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: My cousin is a bank teller, and he gave me one of those exploding ink cartridges they put in stolen money so I could figure out who's been disconnecting the emergency exits!
He finds Dr. Kelso standing there, covered in blue ink.
Dr. Kelso: Nice work.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Miller: Okay, that's all from me, Jeff. Any other questions you might have you can direct to Dr. Cox, here. I'm sure you'll find him to be quite... something!
Dr. Cox: Ha-ha!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Bambi, when you broke up with Danni, you said it was the happiest day of your life!
J.D.: No, that was only because 'Barney Miller' came out on DVD.
Turk: And WoJo's commentary on it? Priceless!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: Listen, Serpico, I go four steps out that door to my car every day. And that's important, because if I don't beat Enid home from her thighs & buns class, I have to help her peel off her leotard.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Miller: Excuse me, I need to get a, uh-
Dr. Cox: Book about supply closet etiquette? Yeah, look, I'm kinda using this area?
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s Narration: In a big hospital, you can hide from almost anything. Except your conscience.
Jordan: Hello.
Dr. Cox: Oh, hey! Hey, Jordan! You know what's weird?
Jordan: Tell me.
Dr. Cox: We're so close, and yet if anybody asks if we're married, all either one of us can say is-is no.
Jordan: Actually, I say we were married for five years then got divorced, now we're back living together, have a child, but we're in a long-term, committed relationship.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, that's what I say, too... That or... no.
 • Rating: Unrated

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