Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Jordan:I'm taking Jack to my mother's for a few months. Perry: Yes,but who'll be taking care of Jack while you and your mother go out marauding for flesh?
Lonnie: Thanks for that.
Jordan: Keep movin', fetus face.
So here I am. Sitting on a box, in an empty apartment with a dead dog, and a single tear on my cheek. I can't help but wonder how I got to this place.
J.D.'s Narration
J.D.: Just say you're sorry, give me a hug, and this'll all be over.
Turk: Why do I have to say I'm sorry?
J.D.: Dude, I don't mean to sound girly, but, for the last twelve years, you've practically been like...my wife.
Turk: How is that girly?
J.D.'s Narration: Turk didn't even realize he'd pissed me off, so explaining my feelings to him was the smart move. I took a slightly different tack.
J.D.: That seat's taken, ass-face!
Turk: By who?
J.D.: Hello there, Chocolate Bear Two.
Turk: Hooch!? J.D., what the hell is going on here!?
J.D.: I replaced your ass!
Turk: Now, listen to me. You gotta make tonight count. 'Cause you'll never be as cool as you were when you were rollin' with The Big Dog as your roommate, you know?
J.D.'s Narration: No, I didn't know.
Dr. Kelso: No, I'm here because the budget's a mess. Ted's not making much headway.
Ted: Three-twelve times four-eighty-one equals... Sir, it's not giving me the answer!
Dr. Kelso: It's a typewriter, you jackass!
Dr. Kelso: Harrison posted his first profit this quarter.
Dr. Cox: Aces. And I'm guessing that's because his significant other...
Dr. Kelso: Terrence.
Dr. Cox: Terrence doesn't follow him around the shop all day telling him just exactly what color is "in" this season or showing all of the other employees that he is not in fact the boss of his own life.
Elliot: And he doesn't always tell me what to do. I mean, sure, he did tell me to come up here and talk to you, but I was gonna do that anyway 'cause I wanted to ask if you thought I should wear hooker heels or flats with my pink skirt when we go celebrate my new job tonight - but instead I'm trying to figure out what your problem is.
Carla: Look! I thought you were staying, okay? I've been here for eleven years, and it's always the same story: I get really close to someone, they move on. I don't wanna be fifty, making friends with the new 25-year-old interns, Elliot. They'll make fun of me when we go dancing!
J.D.: So, yo, could I ask you a question?
Turk: Yeah.
J.D.: Why are we lying in the parking lot?
Turk: Your hook-shot knocked you unconscious, so I lied down next to you so everyone would just think we were chillin'.
J.D.: Oh, thanks SCB!
Janitor: Who's ready for a pie break?
J.D.: No!
Janitor: Come on, why not?
J.D.: Why don't you ask Todd? Due to what can only be described as epic diarrhea, he's been on an I.V. drip for thirty-six hours!
Todd: Make-it-stop five?
Dr. Cox: You see, the woman is everywhere! She's there when I work out in the morning, when I work out in the car on the way to work, and when I work out when I get to work. I can't seem to get away from her, and that used to be fine when she just came round for five minutes every month or so to fed on my dignity, but now! I'd honestly kill myself Bob, if I wasn't convinced that Jordan wouldn't already be there, waiting for me in the afterlife! You see, typical of her, she went ahead and signed us up for an eternal tandem bike ride, all along the banks of the river Styx!
Dr. Kelso: I'm so glad you shared.
