Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
J.D.: So, yo, could I ask you a question?
J.D.: Why are we lying in the parking lot?
Turk: Your hook-shot knocked you unconscious, so I lied down next to you so everyone would just think we were chillin'.
J.D.: Oh, thanks SCB!
- Permalink: So, yo, could I ask you a question? Yeah. Why are we lying i...
Dr. Kelso: No, I'm here because the budget's a mess. Ted's not making much headway.
Ted: Three-twelve times four-eighty-one equals... Sir, it's not giving me the answer!
Dr. Kelso: It's a typewriter, you jackass!
- Permalink: No, I'm here because the budget's a mess. Ted's not making much ...
Nurse: Someone stole a whole case of laxatives from the supply closet.
Laverne: Don't look at me - I'm as regular as rain.
- Permalink: Someone stole a whole case of laxatives from the supply closet. ...
J.D.'s Narration: Elliot's boyfriend, Jake, had given her confidence to do things she'd never been able to do before.
Jake: Okay, you ready to do this?
Elliot: You know it!
J.D.'s Narration: ...Like talking to people when she's on the toilet.
Jake: Uh, okay, uh, I know how comfortable you are with Carla, so I'm gonna have her do the talking, all right? You just say when.
Elliot: There's cheeks on the seat, and I'm feeling good! Let's hear it.
Carla: Hello, Elliot. How are you doing?
Jake: She went out the window.
- Permalink: Elliot's boyfriend, Jake, had given her confidence to do things ...
Dr. Cox: All right, then, before we jump in to rounds, I see it's time for my annual cologne intervention. Lonnie, you're killing us. And, honestly, what's the point? D'you understand that no matter how badly you wanna get freaky with Karen, here, that's just not going to happen, and here's why: She thinks you have the body of a fetus. Oh, Karen, did you tell me that in confidence?
Karen: No, he knows.
Lonnie: She drew me a picture.
- Permalink: She thinks you have the body of a fetus. Oh, Karen, did you tell...
Turk: Who are these guys?
J.D.: These are the last eight guys in the hospital who don't realize I suck at basketball.
J.D.: Okay, so here's what's gonna happen: I finally mastered my running hook-shot, okay?
J.D.: So when we go to pick teams, I'm gonna hit that shot. Then you say, "I'll take that guy!" At which point, Carla is gonna page me. And I'll say, "Crap, I gotta go." And you go, "Damn! We just lost the best player out here!" Then there'll be eight guys in the hospital who think I'm good at sports, and word will spread.
Turk: When do you find time to see your patients?
J.D.: Between these thoughts.
- Permalink: Who are these guys? These are the last eight guys in the hosp...
J.D.'s Narration: Maybe I was being unfair to Turk. Maybe it's too much to expect a friend to just sense that you're upset and wanna talk about it.
Elliot: Carla, I can sense you're upset. Talk to me.
J.D.'s Narration: Okay, but Turk's a prideful guy, and it's hard for prideful guys to admit when they've been insensitive.
Dr. Cox: Listen, Jordan, I've been incredibly insensitive.
J.D.'s Narration: Touch, magic hallway.
- Permalink: Maybe I was being unfair to Turk. Maybe it's too much to expect ...
Lonnie: Thanks for that.
Jordan: Keep movin', fetus face.
- Permalink: Thanks for that. Keep movin', fetus face.
Dr. Cox: You see, the woman is everywhere! She's there when I work out in the morning, when I work out in the car on the way to work, and when I work out when I get to work. I can't seem to get away from her, and that used to be fine when she just came round for five minutes every month or so to fed on my dignity, but now! I'd honestly kill myself Bob, if I wasn't convinced that Jordan wouldn't already be there, waiting for me in the afterlife! You see, typical of her, she went ahead and signed us up for an eternal tandem bike ride, all along the banks of the river Styx!
Dr. Kelso: I'm so glad you shared.
- Permalink: You see, the woman is everywhere! She's there when I work out in...
J.D.'s Narration: Turk didn't even realize he'd pissed me off, so explaining my feelings to him was the smart move. I took a slightly different tack.
J.D.: That seat's taken, ass-face!
Turk: By who?
J.D.: Hello there, Chocolate Bear Two.
Turk: Hooch!? J.D., what the hell is going on here!?
J.D.: I replaced your ass!
- Permalink: Turk didn't even realize he'd pissed me off, so explaining my fe...
Carla: Sure, Jake, I'll tell you why it feels like I have a problem with you. The fact that Elliot jumps so high whenever you tell her to may seem harmless, but as a result she's been stealing all my sports bras! Seriously, the only one I have left is the one I'm wearing; and it works great, see? Huh?
Jake: It works pretty nicely.
Carla: It does, right? But! If I wanna jump up and down again this week, I'm stuck until laundry day!
- Permalink: Sure, Jake, I'll tell you why it feels like I have a problem wit...
Jordan: So, do you think I should take the job? Perry?
Dr. Cox: Oh. I'm sorry, honey. I was just thinking about this little boy in here. He's only eight years old and he's terminal. I just hope his parents spent as much time with him as they could - you're here one minute, and then the next you're... What, uh, what were you saying?
- Permalink: So, do you think I should take the job? Perry? Oh. I'm sorry, ...