Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Janitor: Who wants a piece of pie!
J.D.: Who made it?
Janitor: Let's say my mom.
J.D.'s Narration: As a doctor, you get good at piecing things together.
Nurse: Someone stole a case of laxatives.
Janitor: Who wants a piece of pie!
J.D.'s Narration: This one was obvious.
J.D.: No thank you.
Todd: Free pie? Hell yeah!
- Permalink: Who wants a piece of pie! Who made it? Let's say my mom. A...
Turk: What does SCB mean?
J.D.: Super Chocolate Bear.
Turk: I love it.
J.D.: I knew you would.
- Permalink: What does SCB mean? Super Chocolate Bear. I love it. I kne...
Turk: Who are these guys?
J.D.: These are the last eight guys in the hospital who don't realize I suck at basketball.
J.D.: Okay, so here's what's gonna happen: I finally mastered my running hook-shot, okay?
J.D.: So when we go to pick teams, I'm gonna hit that shot. Then you say, "I'll take that guy!" At which point, Carla is gonna page me. And I'll say, "Crap, I gotta go." And you go, "Damn! We just lost the best player out here!" Then there'll be eight guys in the hospital who think I'm good at sports, and word will spread.
Turk: When do you find time to see your patients?
J.D.: Between these thoughts.
- Permalink: Who are these guys? These are the last eight guys in the hosp...
J.D.: Just say you're sorry, give me a hug, and this'll all be over.
Turk: Why do I have to say I'm sorry?
J.D.: Dude, I don't mean to sound girly, but, for the last twelve years, you've practically been like...my wife.
Turk: How is that girly?
- Permalink: Just say you're sorry, give me a hug, and this'll all be over. ...
Jordan: Don't sweat it too much, kid. He wore so much cologne on our first date, I had to sell my Miata!
Dr. Cox: WHY?
Jordan: For funsies!
Dr. Cox: Heel!
Lonnie: Thanks for that.
Jordan: Keep movin', fetus face.
- Permalink: Don't sweat it too much, kid. He wore so much cologne on our fir...
J.D.: Come here, boy! Come on, Rowdy!
Turk: No, you come here and eat your steak!
Carla: What are you doing?
J.D.: Oh, whoever Rowdy goes to first, he gets to keep him. Rowdy, if you come to me I'll scratch your special region!
Carla: So, you moved back all the furniture and defrosted our dinner with your sweaty hands for a joke!?
Turk: Yeah, we did...
Carla: If he stays, I'll drive him out to the country and leave him there.
J.D.'s Narration: Huzzah! He's mine!
- Permalink: Come here, boy! Come on, Rowdy! No, you come here and eat your...
Well, look, Carla, Jake makes me happy! Plus, there's a decent chance he'll be my second serious boyfriend not to end up in bed with my mom or my brother Barry.Elliot
- Permalink: Well, look, Carla, Jake makes me happy! Plus, there's a decent c...
Janitor: No better pick-me-up than a slice of Mom's pie!
J.D.: Why are you so obsessed with this?
Janitor: I dunno. I think it's 'cause this time, I wasn't trying to mess with you.
Janitor digs in and takes a bite.
J.D. takes the fork and has a bite.
Cut to Men's Room
J.D.: Who would do this to themselves?
Janitor: Totally worth it.
J.D.'s Narration: As every piece of food I'd put into my body in the last year was rushing out of me, it got me thinking.
- Permalink: No better pick-me-up than a slice of Mom's pie! Why are you so...
I can't believe you talked me into this! I will never get this fellowship - I don't interview well. It's the reason I didn't get into Harvard. The second the professor asked me what I hoped to accomplish in college, my nose started bleeding, and I sneezed and splattered his shirt with blood.Elliot
- Permalink: I can't believe you talked me into this! I will never get this f...