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Dr. Cox: You see, the woman is everywhere! She's there when I work out in the morning, when I work out in the car on the way to work, and when I work out when I get to work. I can't seem to get away from her, and that used to be fine when she just came round for five minutes every month or so to fed on my dignity, but now! I'd honestly kill myself Bob, if I wasn't convinced that Jordan wouldn't already be there, waiting for me in the afterlife! You see, typical of her, she went ahead and signed us up for an eternal tandem bike ride, all along the banks of the river Styx!
Dr. Kelso: I'm so glad you shared.
- Permalink: You see, the woman is everywhere! She's there when I work out in...
So here I am. Sitting on a box, in an empty apartment with a dead dog, and a single tear on my cheek. I can't help but wonder how I got to this place.J.D.'s Narration
- Permalink: So here I am. Sitting on a box, in an empty apartment with a dea...
J.D.: Errrr... Jake? Is it?
Jake: Yeah... it is...
J.D.: I know your name, Jake, I'm being condescending. It's Jake, right?
- Permalink: Errrr... Jake? Is it? Yeah... it is... I know your name, Jak...
Turk: You know how you're prone to overly sensitive girly displays of sentimentality?
- Permalink: You know how you're prone to overly sensitive girly displays of ...
Janitor: No better pick-me-up than a slice of Mom's pie!
J.D.: Why are you so obsessed with this?
Janitor: I dunno. I think it's 'cause this time, I wasn't trying to mess with you.
Janitor digs in and takes a bite.
J.D. takes the fork and has a bite.
Cut to Men's Room
J.D.: Who would do this to themselves?
Janitor: Totally worth it.
J.D.'s Narration: As every piece of food I'd put into my body in the last year was rushing out of me, it got me thinking.
- Permalink: No better pick-me-up than a slice of Mom's pie! Why are you so...
Elliot: And he doesn't always tell me what to do. I mean, sure, he did tell me to come up here and talk to you, but I was gonna do that anyway 'cause I wanted to ask if you thought I should wear hooker heels or flats with my pink skirt when we go celebrate my new job tonight - but instead I'm trying to figure out what your problem is.
Carla: Look! I thought you were staying, okay? I've been here for eleven years, and it's always the same story: I get really close to someone, they move on. I don't wanna be fifty, making friends with the new 25-year-old interns, Elliot. They'll make fun of me when we go dancing!
- Permalink: And he doesn't always tell me what to do. I mean, sure, he did t...
Yo, Hooch is seriously crazy.J.D.
- Permalink: Yo, Hooch is seriously crazy.
Nurse: Someone stole a whole case of laxatives from the supply closet.
Laverne: Don't look at me - I'm as regular as rain.
- Permalink: Someone stole a whole case of laxatives from the supply closet. ...
Dr. Kelso: Harrison posted his first profit this quarter.
Dr. Cox: Aces. And I'm guessing that's because his significant other...
Dr. Kelso: Terrence.
Dr. Cox: Terrence doesn't follow him around the shop all day telling him just exactly what color is "in" this season or showing all of the other employees that he is not in fact the boss of his own life.
- Permalink: Harrison posted his first profit this quarter. Aces. And I'm g...
Lonnie: Thanks for that.
Jordan: Keep movin', fetus face.
- Permalink: Thanks for that. Keep movin', fetus face.
Dr. Kelso: No, I'm here because the budget's a mess. Ted's not making much headway.
Ted: Three-twelve times four-eighty-one equals... Sir, it's not giving me the answer!
Dr. Kelso: It's a typewriter, you jackass!
- Permalink: No, I'm here because the budget's a mess. Ted's not making much ...
Jake: Okay, I'm obviously gonna have to guess what your point is here, but I think it's that I control Elliot? Which I don't. Here, watch this: Elliot, will you shove that guy?
Elliot throws the guy passing her into the wall
Jake: Why would you do that? I was tr-I was trying to prove you don't do everything I say.
Elliot: Well, clue me in, stud! That was Creepy Carl- he runs an up-skirt website...
- Permalink: Elliot, will you shove that guy? Elliot throws the guy passing ...