Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
J.D.: Just say you're sorry, give me a hug, and this'll all be over.
Turk: Why do I have to say I'm sorry?
J.D.: Dude, I don't mean to sound girly, but, for the last twelve years, you've practically been like...my wife.
Turk: How is that girly?
- Permalink: Just say you're sorry, give me a hug, and this'll all be over. ...
Janitor: Who's ready for a pie break?
Janitor: Come on, why not?
J.D.: Why don't you ask Todd? Due to what can only be described as epic diarrhea, he's been on an I.V. drip for thirty-six hours!
Todd: Make-it-stop five?
- Permalink: Who's ready for a pie break? No! Come on, why not? Why don...
Dr. Cox: Hey, Jordan, um... Lookit, I tried to guilt you into not taking that job.
Jordan: Really? Look, I don't wanna be one of those moms that never sees her kids. But I also don't wanna be one of those moms that stays at home but then resents her kids 'cause she wishes she was working so she could go to an office and feel bad about not being at home with her kids. I was just worried that you would think I was a bad mom.
Dr. Cox: Sweetie, you are an evil, soulless, chemically-enhanced battle-axe that I truly doubt is a hundred percent human, but... you are an amazing mom.
- Permalink: Hey, Jordan, um... Lookit, I tried to guilt you into not taking ...
J.D.: Oh! Can we cut words out of magazines that represent how we feel about each other and glue them into a "Friends Forever" collage?
Turk: Hell no.
J.D.: Oh. Well, can we drink beers and reminisce?
Turk: Hell yes!
J.D.: That's all I wanted to do anyway.
J.D.'s Narration: Plus, I already made the collage.
- Permalink: Oh! Can we cut words out of magazines that represent how we feel...
J.D.: Here at Sacred Heart, you get to work with some of the finest doctors in the country.
Todd: Out of my way! I got a doozy of a twosie!
- Permalink: Here at Sacred Heart, you get to work with some of the finest do...
Elliot: Ohhh, my God, you're right.
Carla: Don't let him be your puppet-master.
Jake: What's up?
Elliot: I have a headache.
Jake: Take some aspirin.
Elliot: Don't tell me what to do! You're not the boss of me!
- Permalink: Ohhh, my God, you're right. Don't let him be your puppet-maste...
Dr. Kelso: Harrison posted his first profit this quarter.
Dr. Cox: Aces. And I'm guessing that's because his significant other...
Dr. Kelso: Terrence.
Dr. Cox: Terrence doesn't follow him around the shop all day telling him just exactly what color is "in" this season or showing all of the other employees that he is not in fact the boss of his own life.
- Permalink: Harrison posted his first profit this quarter. Aces. And I'm g...
Ted: If you need some happy pills, they're in the top drawer.
Jordan: In this hell-hole, I'll need a gun!
Ted: Bottom left.
- Permalink: If you need some happy pills, they're in the top drawer. In t...
Carla: I think we should have a baby.
Turk: I know you're feeling abandoned right now, but we just went through a really rough spot, and I'm not the type of guy to make life-changing decisions without thinking about it for at least, like... a few months.
Carla opens her top to reveal a sexy camisole underneath.
Turk: Let's make a baby.
- Permalink: I think we should have a baby. Whoa! Hm? Whoa!! What? ...
J.D.'s Narration: And so here I am - a guy in an empty apartment with a dead dog. Oh, and that's not a tear on my cheek, that's just from the leak in my ceiling. And, yes, change is scary, but it's also inevitable. It's up to you to make the best of it. I mean, it's not like opportunity is just gonna fall in to your lap.
The leaking ceiling collapses, and a woman in a sudsy bathtub plummets onto J.D.'s moving boxes.
J.D.'s Narration: Then again...
J.D.: Howdy, neighbor, I'm Jonathan!
A half-naked, mean looking guy crashes down next to them.
Guy: You eyeballin' my woman?
J.D.'s Narration: I hate change.
- Permalink: And so here I am - a guy in an empty apartment with a dead dog. ...
Dr. Cox: I can't clear his airway. Call 9-1-1! Let's go!
Turk: He'll be brain-dead by the time they get here-
Dr. Cox: Come on!
Turk: I'm gonna do an emergency trach. Lemme get a knife!... A clean knife!
- Permalink: I can't clear his airway. Call 9-1-1! Let's go! He'll be brain...
Dr. Kelso: Yeah, I'm sorry, son, I'd love to help you out, but I could give a horse's patootie about your floors.
Janitor: My floors are my children! I'VE GIVEN THEM NAMES!
- Permalink: Yeah, I'm sorry, son, I'd love to help you out, but I could give...
J.D.'s Thoughts: Wait, is she in to me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if she laughs.
J.D.: Did you hear the one about the skeleton who couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with.
Neena: That's really funny!
J.D.'s Narration: Well that's not a fair test - that joke's hilarious.
- Permalink: Wait, is she in to me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if she lau...
Was she always wearing that big hat?Dr. Cox
- Permalink: Was she always wearing that big hat?