Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
J.D.'s Narration: After spreading half a tube of what I thought was burn ointment on my butt, it was off to work.
Elliot: What smells like Vagisil?
Christopher Duncan Turk, you tell him how you really feel, just like you told me last night, or I will do it for you. "Baby! Why does he hurt me so bad?"
Carla
Neena: So should we start this deposition, or do you boys just want to hand us a big bag of money?
Mr. Corman: Big bag of money...
Turk: You aren't going to freeze up around her again, are you Ted?
Ted: No chance. I'm drugged up. Plus, if I concentrate, I think I can control the excessive flop sweat I get the second she speaks!
J.D.: Neena, it's over.
Neena: No it's not. In fact, I find myself oddly turned on by your timid, baby horse standing up for the first time style of humping.
J.D.: First of all, thank you. Secondly, I've tried to be reasonable, now if you wanna see my dark side, you're gonna see my dark side.
(J.D. starts softly tickling Neena)
J.D.: Ah tickle tickle tickle. Ah tickle tickle tickle tickle.
Neena: Yet another strong moment for ya.
Hey, I want you to know that I still think you're a great doctor. And I've been talking to my rabbi a lot lately about me finally getting circumsized. It's not a religious thing, it's-it's more for the ladies. What?
Mr. Corman
J.D.: Hey Neena.
J.D.'s Narration: God help me, I'm going to miss that smile.
J.D.: I think because of the whole Turk situation we should probably stop seeing each other.
Neena: No.
J.D.: You can't just say no. No is the answer to a question. And I clearly wasn't asking a question, Neena. I was making a dramatic statement. And I'm sorry, but that statement was goodbye.
He turns to open the door, but she puts her hand on it. He struggles, but can't open the door
J.D.: You know, one of us is going to tire eventually.
Mr. Summers: Now, how about you be a nice little nurse and go find my doctor.
Elliot: Actually sir-
Mr. Summers: His name is Elliot Reid. So, what's the word? This guy any good?
Elliot: Oh, he rocks!
Carla: Now don't you let anything else get into that beautiful head of yours. Okay?
Turk: What could get into this man's head, baby? Huh?
Dr. Cox: Tough day, huh? You wanna talk about it?
J.D.: Okay, fine, why don't you just tell me how this ends?
Neena: You won't break up with me, you will betray your friend.
J.D.: What is this, some kind of lawyer mind trick? It's not gonna happen!
Neena: Sit down.
J.D.(Sits down): I won't, I'm leaving.
Neena: You're going to have sex with me.
J.D.(Taking off his shirt): I'll do nothing of the sort.
Neena: And as the ultimate act of betrayal, you will do it on the very same sweat and tear-soaked table where I crushed your friend.
J.D.: Oh, I hate a dirty table.
Neena: You love a dirty table.
J.D.: God help me, I do. I do love a dirty table.
Mr. Summers: When the hell am I getting out of here?
Elliot: Dr. Reid thought you might ask that and he had an answer for you. Shut your cakehole!
Elliot: Hey! That belongs to Dr. Reid!
Mr. Summers: So you and Reid...
Elliot: Yes. We're lovers. Red hot lovers.
Mr. Summers: I'm guessing he's married.
Elliot: She doesn't understand him like I do.
Mr. Summers: I love this guy.
Elliot: Not like I do.
Carla: And you reminded him that people are basically good.
Flashback
Dr. Cox: People suck. They suck. And make no mistake about it, even sweet little old ladies are looking to bend you over a chair in court. Come on.
Dr. Cox: We covered people.
Carla: And I know you would never do anything to ruin his innocence.
Flashback
Dr. Cox: You see, there's a compartment in the hat. So the stinkin' rabbit is actually in there the whole time. Right?
