Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Jordan: You are so much stronger than all the other idiot residents around here.
Elliot: Really?
J.D.: Jordan? I need you to break up with somebody for me.
Jordan: Really.
J.D.: Okay, this woman is horrifying, so don't panic.
Jordan: I'll be fine.
J.D.: I was talking to myself.
(After Ted faints)
Turk: We should take a short recess.
Neena: Believe me, you're better off.
Dr. Kelso: I agree.
J.D.: Jordan's making me stretch out her new jeans. (Slaps himself in the ass)
Dr. Cox: Cry me a river. Guess what Gandhi's wife is making me do because I supposedly "broke his spirit."
(Dr. Cox and Mr. Corman are playing tennis, with Corman about to serve)
Mr. Corman: Ever since the operation I've been serving leftie. So it could be a little unpredictable. (He sends down a massive serve that hits Dr. Cox in the stomach and sends him flying into the fence)
(To J.D.)Not so fast. You're my bitch now.
Jordan
(To Mr. Corman) Here's what's going to happen. You're going to drop this lawsuit because it's wrong and you know it. But also because if you don't, I'm going to pound the plaid right off that shirt and make it so that the only way you'll be able to eat pie is through a straw!
Carla
J.D.'s Narration: Okay, they're mad. I'm pretty sure it's because of my new girlfriend. She's amazing. Don't get me wrong, she's not the warmest person.
J.D.: You know, the funniest thing happened-
Neena: I'm eating.
J.D.: Sorry. I'm starvin'. Wish I hadn't left my wallet at home. Mmm, bread.
(He reaches for the bread basket and gets his hand slapped)
J.D.'s Narration: Also, the sex could be a little impersonal.
[J.D. is thrown out of the car, shirtless and with his pants down
J.D.: So that's a no on cuddling?
Neena: Morning. I'll see you at the deposition. I'll try not to spank your lawyer as hard as I spanked him last night.
J.D.: Bye! FYI, there was no spanking last night, okay?
Carla: Really? Then this won't hurt. (She smacks him on the ass)
J.D.: Nope.
Turk: Hit him again baby.
J.D.: Why?
Carla: Girls! I want an explanation.
J.D.: Fine. Turk, tell her our code.
Turk: If you haven't had sex in six months, you're not accountable for who you sleep with.
Elliot: What are they doing here?
Foxy Nurse and a shirtless guy are in a corner making out.
J.D.: This is a hospital! He should really have his shirt on.
Elliot: Yeah.
J.D.: Dynamite areolas, though, huh?
Oh, my God! I'm gagging and vomiting at the same time. I'm... I'm gavomiting!
Dr. Cox
Cal Turk here. We don't sell insurance, we sell peace of mind. But only to white people (winks). Would you like some milk?
Cal Turk
