Scrubs

Scrubs Season 8 Quotes

Season 8 Episode 18: "My Finale"

Sunny: Oh, he's finally gone. Talk about making a big deal over nothing, you know? I mean, Dr. Dorian was fine, but he was no better than any other doctor.
Dr. Cox: For the record, he was the best that ever came through this dump. John Dorian was the first and only doctor I ever met who cared as much as I do. And you can forget about him being a just and exceptional physician, because the fact of the matter is, he's a damn exceptional person. It's why people gravitated to him. It's why I did. He was my friend.
J.D. [appears from behind Cox]: Thank you, God. That - was - beautiful.
Dr. Cox: Oh, God, no.
J.D.: It's okay, Perry, you just said how you feel! Honestly, I am so full of your love right now, I literally could not take another drop. Brace yourself, I'm coming in.
[J.D. hugs Dr. Cox]
J.D.: You smell like a father figure.
Dr. Cox: Oh! Please stop.
J.D.: Mmmmmm...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Patient's Son: Are you new, Doctor?
J.D.: Actually it's my last day
Patient's Son: Yeah that makes sense
J.D.: That was hurtful
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 17: "My Chief Concern"

Carla: The only time you haven't been together was our honeymoon... [sees their looks] What?
J.D.: It's time
Turk: Honey, J.D. and I were together during our honeymoon. He flew in and stayed in the bungalow by the pool
J.D.: He forgot his favorite lotion. Was I supposed to let him get ashy?
Turk: We only hung out together when you were sleeping or when I said I was getting a massage.
J.D.: Sometimes you were... [starts massaging Turk]
 • Rating: Unrated

Kim: Hey, J.D., since you're coming around my hospital a lot more often now, I was hoping maybe you could dress a little nicer and maybe say smell you later a little less often or just stop completely?
J.D.: Are you sure? It's hilarious
Kim: It's not.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Denise: I don't know why I keep jumping into bed with him. My confidence is shot from screwing up that spinal last week and then yesterday I misdiagnosed a ectopic pregnancy. I dunno maybe I wanted to do I knew I could do right. Like banging a dude. I'm a giant ho bag.
Elliot: No, no you're not. So is Derek a good guy?
Denise: Derek? I thought it was Eric

 • Rating: Unrated

Season 8 Episode 16: "My Cuz"

Carla: You are not a doctor here anymore. You will not treat yourself anymore. I'm sticking the interns on you
Kelso: Oh come on... hi!
Sunny and Howie: Hi
Kelso: What happened to your sleeve there Tex?
Howie: I sewed an orange on to it
Kelso: I'll take the foreigner
Sunny: Yay! I'm so happy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D.: What do you say we change the tone a little bit and both say something nice about each other? I'll go first. Look at you. There's no way around it, you're a beautiful man
Sean: Thank you, J.D.
J.D.: Now you go
Sean: I never agreed to that
J.D.: Beautiful son of a bitch
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kim: J.D. is better at sex, Sean is better at foreplay
Elliot: J.D. is great at foreplay. He just takes the play part literally, so you got to embrace all of his games. "Nooks and Crannies," "Upsies Daises"...
Kim: "Who's in there?" ... Followed afterward by "What's in there?"
Elliot: "Mr Peep Tries on Hats" ...
Kim: Love that one!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kim: So we've been dating, what about a month...and I just didn't want to say anything until i Knew it was going to go somewhere.
Sean: We hit a little speed bumb when I first found Sam was your baby
Kim: Yeah he got drunk and asked me to sell him on the black market
Sean: She wouldn't
Elliot: Well that's sweet

 • Rating: Unrated

Season 8 Episode 15: "My Soul On Fire, Part 2"

Turk: (to Carla) I can't believe you left me out there yesterday. I was in the ocean for so long I got jellyfish stings on my ding-a-ling.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: This salad taste like sun screen
Janitor: That's because you put sun screen on it
Ted [tastes face]: Ahh! I put ranch on my face!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D.: Look Elliot, I dunno if its possible for me to put how I feel about you into words but I guess I'll give it a shot. I never really believed I'd find someone I loved as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. Elliot, I love you more than Turk
Elliot: Oh my god
J.D.: It's kind of hard for me to say, but it's true

 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Van: I am not a strong public speaker, nor am I good with the Bible, so we'll see how this goes
 • Rating: Unrated

Jordan: Remember when my dog died, you told me he went to doggie hell? And then you told me my mom was going to go to doggy hell when she dies?
Cox: Because of her doggy face?
Jordan: Right!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 8 Episode 14: "My Soul On Fire, Part 1"

Jordan: What are you doing? The van to take us to the airport is downstairs.
Dr. Cox: It's called my job. It's that little thing I do 70 to 80 hours a week while you're eating, drinking, napping, spending, plucking, ignoring the children and singing rap tunes into a hairbrush.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jordan [to Todd]: Hey meat head, I got a present for you: I'm thinking about going bone fishing
Todd: I'm going bone fishing right now! And Ms. Sullivan, thanks so much for your setup
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 8 Episode 13: "My Full Moon"

Turk [about patient's fart]: Being a guy, I have to ask, what did it smell like?
Sunny: Like thirty years of repression... and hot dogs
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Elliot, you're really cute but your booty is tiny. I don't know what I would do with that thing
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elliot: When I was little, my mom told me my farts were little demons crawling around in my belly and if I let one out it'd give my grandmother cancer
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elliot: I'm a doctor. We believe everything we see on the charts. That's why I write "Elliot has a killer tushie" on every one

 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

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