Kim: J.D. is better at sex, Sean is better at foreplay
Elliot: J.D. is great at foreplay. He just takes the play part literally, so you got to embrace all of his games. "Nooks and Crannies," "Upsies Daises"...
Kim: "Who's in there?" ... Followed afterward by "What's in there?"
Elliot: "Mr Peep Tries on Hats" ...
Kim: Love that one!

Kim: So we've been dating, what about a month...and I just didn't want to say anything until i Knew it was going to go somewhere.
Sean: We hit a little speed bumb when I first found Sam was your baby
Kim: Yeah he got drunk and asked me to sell him on the black market
Sean: She wouldn't
Elliot: Well that's sweet

Ted: This salad taste like sun screen
Janitor: That's because you put sun screen on it
Ted [tastes face]: Ahh! I put ranch on my face!

J.D.: Look Elliot, I dunno if its possible for me to put how I feel about you into words but I guess I'll give it a shot. I never really believed I'd find someone I loved as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. Elliot, I love you more than Turk
Elliot: Oh my god
J.D.: It's kind of hard for me to say, but it's true

I am not a strong public speaker, nor am I good with the Bible, so we'll see how this goes

Van

Jordan: Remember when my dog died, you told me he went to doggie hell? And then you told me my mom was going to go to doggy hell when she dies?
Cox: Because of her doggy face?
Jordan: Right!

Jordan [to Todd]: Hey meat head, I got a present for you: I'm thinking about going bone fishing
Todd: I'm going bone fishing right now! And Ms. Sullivan, thanks so much for your setup

Turk [about patient's fart]: Being a guy, I have to ask, what did it smell like?
Sunny: Like thirty years of repression... and hot dogs

Elliot, you're really cute but your booty is tiny. I don't know what I would do with that thing

Turk

When I was little, my mom told me my farts were little demons crawling around in my belly and if I let one out it'd give my grandmother cancer

Elliot

I'm a doctor. We believe everything we see on the charts. That's why I write "Elliot has a killer tushie" on every one

Elliot

Aww that's adorable, you have a crush on yourself. I'd be careful, the guy you're in love with is a douche

Denise [to Derek]
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 121 in total

Scrubs Season 8 Quotes

Dr. Kelso: You know, you hurt my feelings earlier.
Dr. Cox: In my defense, you are a soulless creature from the netherworld who doesn't really have feelings

[Dr. Cox telling Kelso how much he misses him...]
Dr. Cox: When you were the Chief, you were a jackass and a nightmare and I hated you a great deal.
Dr. Kelso: That's a good start

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