Seinfeld Season 2 Episode 11: "The Chinese Restaurant" Quotes
George: Yes, I'm expecting a call for Costanza.
Bruce: Yes, someone call. I say "Cartwright! Cartright!" but no one come and I hang up.
Remember when you first went out to eat with your parents? Remember, it was such a treat. You go and they serve you this different food that you never saw before. They put it in front of you and it was such a delicious and exciting adventure and now I just feel like a big sweaty hog waiting for them to fill up the trough.
Elaine
George: If anything happens here can I count on you?
Jerry: What?
George: If we decide to go at it.
Jerry: Yeah, I want to get into a rumble.
Elaine: You ever notice how happy people are when they finally get a table? They feel so special because they've been chosen. It's enough to make you SICK!!
Jerry: Boy. You are REALLY hungry.
(After the restaurant owner makes George miss Tatiana's phone call.)
George: She called. He yelled 'Cartwright'. I missed her.
Jerry: Who's Cartwright?
George: (pause)...I'm Cartwright.
Jerry: You're not Cartwright.
George: OF COURSE I'M NOT CARTWRIGHT!
The only excuse she might possibly have accepted is if I told her I am in reality Batman, and I'm very sorry I just saw the Bat-signal!
George
So, we start to fool around and I begin to perceive this impending intestinal requirement whose needs are going to surpass by great length anything in the sexual realm.
George
Elaine: I feel like just walking over to a table and taking food off of someone's plate.
Jerry: I'll tell you what. There's $50 in it for you if you do it.
George: $50? For $50, I'll put my face in their soup and blow!
Health cookies. I hate those dustboard, fructose things.
Elaine
The Women's Movement just can't seem to make any progress in the world of bribery, can they?
Jerry
You're never gonna stop crime, we should at least be clean.
George
New York to Long Island. Long Island to Florida. It's like the Bermuda Triangle. Unfortunately no one ever disappears.
Jerry
