Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 20: "The Junior Mint" Quotes
Kramer: Come on Jerry hurry I don't want to miss it.
Jerry: Let me finish my coffee. Then we'll go watch 'em slice this fat bastard up.
(George is intently watching "Home Alone")
Elaine: What's with him?
Jerry: You know, a lot of people have asked that.
George: "Interest" - it's an amazing thing, you make money by doing nothing.
Jerry: I have some friends who base their lives on that very principal.
George: Really? Who?
Jerry: No one you know.
(guessing his girlfriend's name) Mulva?
Jerry
Dolores: Oh, Jerry.
Jerry: Oh...you.
Kramer: Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -it's delicious!
Jerry: That's true.
Kramer: It's very refreshing!
(Jerry is in his apartment, obliviously relating the day's events to George.)
Jerry: Over the balcony, bounced off some respirator thing into the patient!
George: What do you mean "into the patient?"
Jerry: Into the patient, literally!
George: Into the hole?
Jerry: Yes, the hole!
George: Didn't they notice it?
Jerry: No!
George: How could they not notice it?!
Jerry: Because it's a little mint. It's a Junior Mint.
George: W-ca-What did they do?
Jerry: They sealed him up with the mint inside.
George: They left the Junior Mint in him?
Jerry: Yes!
George: I-I guess it can't hurt him. People eat pounds of those things.
Jerry: Yes, they eat them. They don't put them next to vital organs in their abdominal cavity!
We'll open 'em up and saw through the bone...(imitates saw noise) Gneeerrrr! We'll see what's INSIDE bone!
Kramer
They're gonna cut him open. His guts'll be all over the place!
Kramer
Elaine: Did you hear that Jerry? He couldn't eat for weeks!
Jerry: (uncaring) That's terrible...
Y'know I remember when I was a kid growing up, kids would make fun of my name like you wouldn't believe - 'Jerry Jerry Dingleberry', 'Seinsmelled'
Jerry
(explaining why he wants to watch a video at Jerry's place) Because if I watch it at my apartment I feel like I'm not doing anything. If I watch it here, I'm out of the house; I'm doing something.
George
