Elaine: (claps hands) That is the single greatest packing performance I have ever seen.
Jerry: I am the master packer.

Kramer: I'm human...
Jerry: In your way.

The hot water takes a little while to come on. So, the best thing to do is to turn it on, do all your shopping, you come back and take a shower.

Jerry

Elaine: Excuse me, master packer!
Jerry: Yes.
Elaine: Just gimme your keys.

Kramer: I said, "I know about the stuff," you know, so he'd take me into his confidence.
Elaine: What did he say?
Kramer: "What stuff?"
Jerry: Oh, case closed.

(giving house sitting instructions) One last thing, Benes. Regarding sexual activitystrictly prohibited, but, if you absolutely must, do us all a favor and do it in the tub.

Jerry

Elaine: No, I'm staying here for the weekend. I'm getting a break from my roommate.
George: Oh, the actress-waitress.
Elaine: No, the waitress-actress.

Kramer: How can you not have insurance?
Jerry: Because I spent my money on the Clapco 8000. It's the most powerful lock they make. It has only one design flaw...the door...MUST BE CLOSED!!

Response when he realizes his answering machine was taken:
Jerry: I hate the thought of someone out there returning my calls.

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