Jerry: So, do you date immature men?
Vanessa: Almost exclusively.

George: I'm, uh, I'm an architect.
Vanessa: Really. What do you design?
George: Uh, railroads, uh
Vanessa: I thought engineers do that.
George: They can

(opening bit) I think to a man, a cheque is like a note from your mother that says "I don't have any money, but if you'll contact these people, I'm sure they'll stick up for me... If you just trust me this one time I don't have any money but I have these... I wrote on these... is this of any value at all?

Jerry

George: ArtCore.
Jerry: Art Core?
George: velay.
Jerry: Corevelay?

Jerry: Wait a second That's her on the right.
George: I forgot who I am! Who am I?!
Jerry: You're you. We're having lunch with Art Corvelay.
George: Vandelay!
Jerry: Corvelay!
George: Let me be the architect, I can do it!

Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft.

Jerry

Seinfeld Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

This is what I like, see? You come home and your parents are in your bed!

Jerry

Y'know I think that even if you've had a relationship with someone, or let's say, especially if you've had a relationship with someone and you try to become friends afterwards, it's very difficult. Isn't this? It's hard. Because, you know each other so well, you know all of each others tricks. It's like two magicians, trying to entertain each other. The one goes, "Look, a rabbit". The other goes, "So? ... I believe this is your card".
"Look, why don't we just saw each other in half and call it a night? Okay?"

Jerry