Gina: Come on.
Jerry: In my pajamas? I better get my robe.
Gina: We don't have enough time.
Jerry: It'll take two seconds.
Gina: There is no time.
Jerry: We don't have two seconds?
Gina: All right. Go ahead.
Jerry: Nah, forget it.
Gina: No, go ahead.
Jerry: Nah. I'll just wear the pajamas.
Gina: Will you just get it.
Jerry: Are you sure?
Gina: Forget it. Come on.
Jerry: Nah, I'll go get the robe.

Jerry: Hey, do me a favour will ya? Throw out my garbage for me.
George: Yeah, right.
Jerry: Come on, it's just down the hall.
George: Give me two bucks. I'll do it for two bucks.
Jerry: I'll give you 50 cents.
George: There's no way I touch that bag for less than two dollars.

The thing I don't understand about the suicide person is the people who try and commit suicide for some reason they don't die and that's it. They stop trying. Why? Why don't they just keep trying? What has changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact it's worse because now they've found out one more thing you stink at. Okay, that's why these people don't succeed in life to begin with. Because they give up too easy. I saw, pills don't work, try a rope. Car won't start in the garage, get a tune up. You know what I mean? There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you have set for yourself.

Jerry

I can't commit to a woman. I'm not committing to an airline.

Jerry

A plane crash? A heart attack? Lupus?! Is it lupus?!

George

Kramer: What kind of a man are you? The guy is unconscious in a coma and you don't have the guts to kiss his girlfriend?
Jerry: I didn't know what the coma etiquette was.

You know I don't get that whole suicide machine. There's no tall buildings where these people live? They can't wrap their lips around a revolver like a normal person?

Jerry

Gina: A man is lying here unconscious and you're afraid of him? What kind of a man are you?
Jerry: A man who respects a good coma.

George: Hey, I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands this Friday.
Jerry: I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job? What, do you need a break from getting up at 11:00?

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