Seinfeld

Seinfeld Quotes (Page 12)

Season 4 Episode 11: "The Contest"

Jerry: What happened?
Elaine: It was, uh, John John.
Jerry and George: Ohhhhh. John John.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Alright, Costanza. It's just you and me.
George: And then, (smacks the money) there were two.
Elaine: Elaine Benes Kennedy Junior
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: What happened?
Jerry: I told her about the contest.
Elaine: Ohh, boy, she's a whack-o.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: (angrily) He left with Marla, the virgin?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (looks out the window, shocked) Oh my God in heaven!
(all three crowd around the window)
Elaine: (gasps) Is that?
George: Kramer?!
Elaine: He's waving
(all three wave back)
 • Rating: Unrated

Marla: (sleeping with JFK Jr.) Oh, John. That was wonderful.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: I'm out!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I haven't been myself lately. I've been snapping at everybody.
George: Me too. I've been yelling at strangers on the street.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: All right, Costanza. It's just you and me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 10: "The Virgin"

Jerry: She's a virgin. She just told me.
Elaine: I didn't know.
Jerry: Well, it's not like spotting a toupee!
Elaine: Do you think I should say something? Should I apologize? Was I being anti-virgin?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: I don't want a big flat noodle.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: So your boyfriend never came back from Berlin?
Marla: Never came back.
Jerry: Oh, you must have been devastated being left for a wall.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Let me ask you this: is there any Tampax in your house?
George: Yeah
Jerry: Well, I'll tell you what you got here. You got yourself a girlfriend.
George: Oh no!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Let me ask you something. When's the last time you went skiing?
George: About six years ago.
Jerry: I think you can take the lift ticket off your jacket now.
George: Women like skiers.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: you know, it's a very interesting situation. Here you have a job that can get you girls. But, you also have a relationship. But if you try and get rid of the relationship so you can get the girls, you lose the job. You see the irony?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: This is your plan?
George: No, no. I'm just thinking.
Jerry: I don't think you are.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I don't think I could do it. You know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Hey, what about this? I'm in a car accident. The motorist is uninsured, you with me?
Jerry: Yeah.
George: My car's totaled. It's all his fault and now, he has absolutely no money. There is no way that he can pay me. So the judge decrees that he becomes my butler.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Marla and I went out for coffee and afterwards I was crossing the street and he was biking right towards me. So I got out of the way just in time, but then he ran into a parked car. He hit his head and everything went flying.
George: Something happened to the food?!!
 • Rating: Unrated

(George just found out that Susan was fired)
George: This is great! He fired her! This is incredible, he fired her. I'm out, baby! I'm out!
Jerry: Why did he fire her?
George: Because I kissed her in the meeting. Russell found out, he fired her over the phone. Finally, my stupidity pays off!
 • Rating: Unrated

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