Susan: (pounding on Kramer's door) Kramer! Kramer!
Jerry: What's that? What's going on?
Susan: Kramer, open up, I know you're in there!
Jerry: Susan.
Susan: Kramer!
Jerry: What is going on?
Susan: You know what's going on? First, he vomits on me! Then, he burns down my father's cabin! And now, he's taken Mona away from me!

Oh, this isn't even BO. This is beyond BO. It's BBO.

George

Jerry: Hey, I've never smelled in my life, buddy.
Restaurateur: Really? Well, I can smell you now.
Jerry: That's from the car!

Manager: What do you mean-- "stunk up?"
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!

So, this morning, I go down to the garage to check the car out. I figure by this time, the odor molecules have had at least twelve hours to de-smellify. I open the car door, like a punch in the face, the stench hits me. It's almost as if it had GAINED strength throughout the night.

Jerry

Susan: You okay?
George: Yeah, yes! I just haven't seen you in a long time.
Susan: And you didn't expect me to be holding hands with a woman.
George: Oh, please! Me? C'mon? That's great! Are you kidding? I think that's fantastic! I've always encouraged experimentation! I'm the first guy in the pool! Who do you think you're talking to?
Susan: I KNOW who I'm talking to.
George: Of course you doIt's just, uh, y'know, I-I never knew, uh, that, uh
Susan: I liked women.
George: There you go.

George: (on Kramer) He stole your girlfriend?
Susan: Yes. She's in love with him.
George: Amazing. I drive them to lesbianism, he brings 'em back.

(to Elaine) I opened the car door this morning; it was like a punch in the face! It was almost as if the smell GAINED strength overnight.

Jerry

(to the restaurateur, who thinks Jerry has the BO) Well, then go out and smell the car, see which smells worse.

Jerry

(finding out that his former girlfriend is a lesbian) Y'know, the funny thing is, somehow I find her more appealing now It's like if I knew she was a lesbian when we went out, I never would've broken up with her.

George

George: Someone stole the video right out of the car!
Jerry: Someone stole Rochelle, Rochelle?
Restaurateur: Well, you left the window open.
Jerry: We had to air out the car.

What am I, hard of smelling?

Elaine

Seinfeld Quotes

George: I like sports. I could do something in sports.
Jerry: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. In what capacity?
George: You know, like the general manager of a baseball team or something.
Jerry: Yeah. Well, that - that could be tough to get.
George: Well, it doesn't even have to be the general manager. Maybe I could be like, an announcer. Like a colour man. You know how I always make those interesting comments during the game.
Jerry: Yeah. Yeah. You make good comments.
George: What about that?
Jerry: Well, they tend to give those jobs to ex-ballplayers and people that are, you know, in broadcasting.
George: Well, that's really not fair.
Jerry: I know. Well, okay. Okay. What else do you like?
George: Movies. I like to watch movies.
Jerry: Yeah. Yeah.
George: Do they pay people to watch movies?
Jerry: Projectionists.
George: That's true.
Jerry: But you gotta know how to work the projector.
George: Right.
Jerry: And it's probably a union thing.
George: (scoffs) Those unions. (sighs) Okay. Sports, movies what about a talk show host?
Jerry: Talk show host. That's good.
George: I think I'd be good at that. I talk to people all the time. Someone even told me once they thought I'd be a good talk show host.
Jerry: Really?
George: Yeah. A couple of people. I don't get that, though. Where do you start?
Jerry: Well, that's where it gets tricky.
George: You can't just walk into a building and say "I wanna be a talk show host".
Jerry: I wouldn't think so.
George: It's all politics.
Jerry: All right, okay. Sports, movies, talk show host. What else?
George: This could have been a huge mistake.
Jerry: Well, it doesn't sound like you completely thought this through.

Punk Dude: Hey Kramer, have you ever killed a man?!
Kramer: What do you think Junior? You think these hands - they've been soaking in Ivory Liquid?