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Susan: (pounding on Kramer's door) Kramer! Kramer!
Jerry: What's that? What's going on?
Susan: Kramer, open up, I know you're in there!
Jerry: Susan.
Susan: Kramer!
Jerry: What is going on?
Susan: You know what's going on? First, he vomits on me! Then, he burns down my father's cabin! And now, he's taken Mona away from me!

(referring to the car) ThisTHINGhas got to be stopped!

Jerry

Manager: What do you mean-- "stunk up?"
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!

Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?
Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.
Jerry: What is it?
Elaine: I think it's B.O.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must've had B.O.
Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has B.O. like this.
Elaine: Jerry, it's B.O.
Jerry: But the whole car smells.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: So, when somebody has B.O., the O usually stays with the B. Once the B leaves, the O goes with it.

Jerry: Hey, I've never smelled in my life, buddy.
Restaurateur: Really? Well, I can smell you now.
Jerry: That's from the car!

George: So, let me ask you. Do you think I did this?
Jerry: No, no. It's the valet guy.
George: No, no, I mean, driving Susan to lesbianism.
Jerry: Oh no, that's ridiculous.
George: What if her experience with me drive ger to it?
Jerry: Suicide, maybe, not lesbianism.

(finding out that his former girlfriend is a lesbian) Y'know, the funny thing is, somehow I find her more appealing now It's like if I knew she was a lesbian when we went out, I never would've broken up with her.

George

Oh, this isn't even BO. This is beyond BO. It's BBO.

George

Restaurateur: I don't have time to smell cars.
George: Forget about smelling the car. Smell the valet. Go to the source

What am I, hard of smelling?

Elaine

Kramer: What happened?
Jerry: What happened? My car "stinks" is what happened. And it's destroying the lives of everyone in its path.

The "B" is gone, but the "O" is still there!

Jerry
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 941 in total

Seinfeld Quotes

Elaine: I never knew you were so into breasts. I thought you were a leg man.
Jerry: A leg man? Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs.

I can't get a massage from a man.

George