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Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it. It's too risky! You get a sense of it and then you look away.

Jerry

Why are my shoes a topic of conversation?

Elaine

Divorce is very difficult, especially on the kids. Of course, I'm the result of my parents having stayed together, so you never know.

George

I understand women. The snub is good. They love the snub.

Kramer

(on men) We're like some kind of weird fish where the eyes operate independently of the head.

Jerry

How's this for criticism? Umyou stink. How do you like that criticism?

George

I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all!

George

(to Jerry) You're a very bad man.

Babu

Elaine: Who'd you punch?
Kramer: Mickey Mantle.

Kramer goes to a Fantasy camp? His whole life is a fantasy camp! People should plunk down $2,000 to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass backwards in the money, mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating; now that's a fantasy camp.

George

Well, birthdays are really symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic life, this is who we are to the bitter end, inevitably, irrevocably happy birthday? No such thing.

Jerry

Jerry is dark and disturbed? His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal!

George
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 941 in total

Seinfeld Quotes

Elaine: I never knew you were so into breasts. I thought you were a leg man.
Jerry: A leg man? Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs.

I can't get a massage from a man.

George