Seinfeld Quotes

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it. It's too risky! You get a sense of it and then you look away.

Jerry

Why are my shoes a topic of conversation?

Elaine

I understand women. The snub is good. They love the snub.

Kramer

(on men) We're like some kind of weird fish where the eyes operate independently of the head.

Jerry

How's this for criticism? Umyou stink. How do you like that criticism?

George

Divorce is very difficult, especially on the kids. Of course, I'm the result of my parents having stayed together, so you never know.

George

Jerry's whole life revolves around Superman and cereal!

George

(to Jerry) You're a very bad man.

Babu

Elaine: Who'd you punch?
Kramer: Mickey Mantle.

I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all!

George

Well, birthdays are really symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic life, this is who we are to the bitter end, inevitably, irrevocably happy birthday? No such thing.

Jerry

Jerry is dark and disturbed? His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal!

George

Seinfeld Quotes

I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, okay? I I I admit, I, I'm not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they're so subtle, their little everything they do is subtle. Men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that's it! It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is. We want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know 'bout that, we don't know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far. The car-horn honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. E-eeehh, eehhh, eehhh! This man is out of ideas. How does it? E-e-e-eeeehhhh! "I don't think she likes me." The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don't we? Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Wherever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, okay, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like "Where to meet men?" We're here, we are everywhere. We're honking our horns to serve you better.

Jerry

Let's face it, a date is a job interview that lasts all night. The difference between a date and job interview is not many interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end.

Jerry

Seinfeld

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