Seinfeld

Seinfeld Quotes (Page 9)

Season 4 Episode 13: "The Pick"

George: So we go to her apartment and she goes to the bathroom. I'm cursing myself, "now how do I get out of here?" Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. The pick!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: I don't know but I think I see your
(scene ends)
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Is this Elaine? (picks up the card)
Dana: Yeah.
George: Huh! (makes an unusual look to the card)
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Was it a scratch or a pick?
Jerry: It was a pick!
George: Hey, it's me you're talking to! Was there any nostril penetration?
Jerry: (stutters) There may have been some accidental penetration!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 12: "The Airport"

Elaine: Do you realize the people back here are getting cookies!?
 • Rating: Unrated

(After Jerry selfishly takes the lone first-class seat available he confronts Elaine about the issue)
Jerry: Elaine, have you ever flown first-class?
Elaine: No.
Jerry: All right then. See, you don't know what you're missing. I've flown first-class. I can't go back to coach. I can't, I won't.
Elaine: We flew here coach.
Jerry: Yeah, that's true.
Elaine: Oh, alright. If the plane crashes, everyone in first class is going to die anyway.
Jerry: Yeah, I'm sure you'll live.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Listen to the bell, Grossbard...it tolls for thee.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tia: This ice cream is really nice.
Jerry: Oh you know what, they've put the fudge at the bottom of the ice cream. That way you can control your fudge distribution as you eat it.
Tia: I never knew a man who knew so much about nothing.
Jerry: Thank you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: It smells like a cheap hooker. Or is that you?
Elaine: Give me ten bucks and find out.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: You see? Never be late for a plane with a girl. Because a girl runs like a girl, with the little steps and the arms flailing out. You wanna make this plane, you've gotta run like a man! Get your knees up!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Well, what about George? He's supposed to pick us up at Kennedy.
Jerry: We'll call him.
Elaine: There's no time.
Jerry: No time? (to ticket lady) Is there time?
Ticket Lady: There's no time.
Jerry: There's no time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Bon voyage, Lainey!
 • Rating: Unrated

Tia: Excuse me; I think you're in my seat.
Jerry: Oh, sorry. My mistake. (to himself) Thank you!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer and George: (singing) I like to stop at the duty free shop. I like to stop at the duty free shop. I like to stop at the duty free shop.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tia: So, he says, "squeeze your breasts together," and I say, "I thought this was an ad for shoes." (Tia and Jerry both laugh)
Jerry: Oh my
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: (stuck in traffic) How does it look on your side? (George just stares at him angrily) We'll get there.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Oh, look at this. He's sleeping and I have to go to the bathroom. Maybe he'll wake up soon. What if my kidneys burst? Is it worth it not to wake this man up to damage a major organ?
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: (to a woman next to her) Yeah, make a little more noise with your gum; that's helpful.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: They're not here! You cost me fifty bucks!
Kramer: Look at you! You run like a girl! Run like a man! Lift your knees!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: You don't understand, there's a blurb about me in this magazine!
Prisoner: A blurb?! You're a blurb! Check out the cover, idiot!
Guard: All right, let's go.
(George checks out the cover shot which shows a picture of the aforementioned prisoner with the caption "Caught!" written below.)
 • Rating: Unrated

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