Seinfeld

Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes (Page 2)

Season 2 Episode 11: "The Chinese Restaurant"

Elaine: I feel like just walking over to a table and taking food off of someone's plate.
Jerry: I'll tell you what. There's $50 in it for you if you do it.
George: $50? For $50, I'll put my face in their soup and blow!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: So, we start to fool around and I begin to perceive this impending intestinal requirement whose needs are going to surpass by great length anything in the sexual realm.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: The only excuse she might possibly have accepted is if I told her I am in reality Batman, and I'm very sorry I just saw the Bat-signal!
 • Rating: Unrated

(After the restaurant owner makes George miss Tatiana's phone call.)
George: She called. He yelled 'Cartwright'. I missed her.
Jerry: Who's Cartwright?
George: (pause)...I'm Cartwright.
Jerry: You're not Cartwright.
George: OF COURSE I'M NOT CARTWRIGHT!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: You ever notice how happy people are when they finally get a table? They feel so special because they've been chosen. It's enough to make you SICK!!
Jerry: Boy. You are REALLY hungry.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: If anything happens here can I count on you?
Jerry: What?
George: If we decide to go at it.
Jerry: Yeah, I want to get into a rumble.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Remember when you first went out to eat with your parents? Remember, it was such a treat. You go and they serve you this different food that you never saw before. They put it in front of you and it was such a delicious and exciting adventure and now I just feel like a big sweaty hog waiting for them to fill up the trough.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Yes, I'm expecting a call for Costanza.
Bruce: Yes, someone call. I say "Cartwright! Cartright!" but no one come and I hang up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 10: "The Baby Shower"

Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease.
Jerry: I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome?
Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Cable boy. Cable boy. What have you done to my little cable boy?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: Excuse me. Can I get something to drink?
Flight Attendant: I'm afraid not.
Jerry: What's with this airline? What, are you cutting out the drinks now?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: (to Jerry) I'm offering you 53 channels, movies, sports, nudity, and it's free for life!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Red shirt! Red shirt! That's the red shirt!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Look, will you at least let me bring the guy over? He's an amazing man. He's a Russian immigrant. He escaped the Gulag! He's like the Sakharov of cable guys.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: What you're suggesting is illegal.
Kramer: It's not illegal!
Jerry: It's against the law.
Kramer: Well, yeah.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Oh, fire engines, ambulances all along the runway. And then, when we landed safely, they all seemed so...disappointed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bill: My name is Bill. I might be the last person you ever see.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Elaine, who catered this, Sears?
 • Rating: Unrated

George: She doesn't deserve a baby shower. She deserves a baby monsoon. She deserves Rosemary's Baby.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jerry: (to George) You're wearing the chocolate shirt!
 • Rating: Unrated

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