Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes
George: If anything happens here can I count on you?
George: If we decide to go at it.
Jerry: Yeah, I want to get into a rumble.
- Permalink: If anything happens here can I count on you? What? If we dec...
So, we start to fool around and I begin to perceive this impending intestinal requirement whose needs are going to surpass by great length anything in the sexual realm.George
- Permalink: So, we start to fool around and I begin to perceive this impendi...
You're never gonna stop crime, we should at least be clean.George
- Permalink: You're never gonna stop crime, we should at least be clean.
I tell her you not here, she say curse word, I hang up.Bruce
- Permalink: I tell her you not here, she say curse word, I hang up.
Jerry: Excuse me. Can I get something to drink?
Flight Attendant: I'm afraid not.
Jerry: What's with this airline? What, are you cutting out the drinks now?
- Permalink: Excuse me. Can I get something to drink? I'm afraid not. Wha...
(to Jerry) I'm offering you 53 channels, movies, sports, nudity, and it's free for life!Kramer
- Permalink: I'm offering you 53 channels, movies, sports, nudity, and it's f...
Cable boy. Cable boy. What have you done to my little cable boy?Kramer
- Permalink: Cable boy. Cable boy. What have you done to my little cable boy?
Look, will you at least let me bring the guy over? He's an amazing man. He's a Russian immigrant. He escaped the Gulag! He's like the Sakharov of cable guys.Kramer
- Permalink: Look, will you at least let me bring the guy over? He's an amazi...
Jerry: What you're suggesting is illegal.
Kramer: It's not illegal!
Jerry: It's against the law.
Kramer: Well, yeah.
- Permalink: What you're suggesting is illegal. It's not illegal! It's ag...
Red shirt! Red shirt! That's the red shirt!Jerry
- Permalink: Red shirt! Red shirt! That's the red shirt!
Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease.
Jerry: I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome?
Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease.
- Permalink: My roommate has Lyme disease. I thought she had Epstein-Barr s...
Elaine, who catered this, Sears?Leslie
- Permalink: Elaine, who catered this, Sears?
I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.George
- Permalink: I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.
(George, Jerry and Elaine are sitting at a table. Jerry and George are wearing baseball uniforms.)
George: Who gets picked off in softball? It's unheard of.
Jerry: It's never happened to me before.
Elaine: I remember saying to myself, "Why is Jerry so far off the base?"
Jerry: I'll have to live with this shame for the rest of my life.
(George consults his stat sheet of the game)
George: And then in the fifth inning, why did you take off on the pop fly?
Jerry: I thought there were two outs.
Elaine: I couldn't believe it when I saw you running. (laughing) I thought maybe they had changed the rules or something.
Jerry: It was the single worst moment of my life.
George: What about Sharon Besser?
Jerry: Oh, well, of course. Nineteen seventy three.
Elaine: Makes you wonder, though, doesn't it?
Jerry: Wonder about what?
Elaine: You know (looking up) the spirit world.
Jerry: You think Manya showed up during the game and put a hex on me?
Elaine: I never saw anyone play like that.
Jerry: But I went to the funeral.
Elaine: Yeah, but that doesn't make up for killing her.
George: Maybe Manya missed the funeral because she was off visiting another galaxy that day.
Jerry: Don't you think she would've heard I was there?
George: Not necessarily.
Jerry: Who figures an immigrant's gonna have a pony?
- Permalink: Who gets picked off in softball? It's unheard of. It's never h...