Elaine: I wonder what Gandhi ate before he fasted.Jerry: I heard he used to polish off a box of Triscuits.Elaine: Really?Jerry: Oh yeah, Gandhi loved Triscuits.

You know I don't get that whole suicide machine. There's no tall buildings where these people live? They can't wrap their lips around a revolver like a normal person?

Jerry

Gina: A man is lying here unconscious and you're afraid of him? What kind of a man are you?
Jerry: A man who respects a good coma.

George: Hey, I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands this Friday.
Jerry: I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job? What, do you need a break from getting up at 11:00?

Kramer: What kind of a man are you? The guy is unconscious in a coma and you don't have the guts to kiss his girlfriend?
Jerry: I didn't know what the coma etiquette was.

Elaine: Hey, have you ever fasted?
Jerry: Well, once I didn't have dinner until, like nine o'clock. That was pretty rough.

A plane crash? A heart attack? Lupus?! Is it lupus?!

George

Elaine: It's really bad for the fetus. Do you know that.
George: Elaine, she's a psychic. She knows how the kid's going to be.

Kramer: Did you hear about Martin?
Jerry: Yeah, I heard.
Kramer: I can't believe he's in a coma. He's got my vacuum cleaner. You know I loaned it to him. He never returned it. The carpets are filthy. What am I going to do?

Gina: Come on.
Jerry: In my pajamas? I better get my robe.
Gina: We don't have enough time.
Jerry: It'll take two seconds.
Gina: There is no time.
Jerry: We don't have two seconds?
Gina: All right. Go ahead.
Jerry: Nah, forget it.
Gina: No, go ahead.
Jerry: Nah. I'll just wear the pajamas.
Gina: Will you just get it.
Jerry: Are you sure?
Gina: Forget it. Come on.
Jerry: Nah, I'll go get the robe.

Gina: I do not like your toothbrush. There are no bristles.
Jerry: You can say what you want about me but I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here while you insult my toothbrush.

And there it was, mountains of duck. And not fatty duck either, but juicy tender breasts of duck.

Elaine
Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 329 in total

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes

I can't get a massage from a man.

George

Jerry, he's a guy.

Elaine
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