Seinfeld

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes (Page 13)

Season 3 Episode 6: "The Parking Garage"

Jerry: The problem with the mall garage is that everything looks the same. They try to differeriate between levels. They put up different colors, different numbers, different letters. What they need to do is name the levels, like, "Your mother's a whore." You would remember that.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Kramer is carrying an air conditioner box)
Jerry: Will you let me help you with that?
Kramer: I'm gonna put it down behind that car.
Jerry: Worried somebody's gonna pee on it?
 • Rating: Unrated

George: We're like rats in some experiment.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Unbelievable. I'm never gonna get outta here. Guy goes to pee, he never comes back. It's like a science-fiction story.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: What's the difference? We'll all be dead eventually?
Kramer: Does that bother you?
George: Yeah, it bothers me. Doesn't it bother you?
Kramer: Not at all.
George: You see, now, that bothers me even more than dying bothers me, because it's people like you who live to be 120 because you're not bothered by it.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I'm trying to live my life!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (to George) You get within fifteen feet of that woman, she'd have her finger on the mace button.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: If I am not in front of my building at 6:15 when my parents get there, they are going to put me on an aggravation installment plan that will compound with interest for decades.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: You know, I've been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 5: "The Library"

Elaine: (on boys giving wedgies, etc.) Boys are sick.
Jerry: What do girls do?
Elaine: We just tease someone 'til they develop an eating disorder!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kramer: (on the loney librarian) She needs a little tenderness...she needs a little understanding...she needs a little Kramer.
Jerry: Then she'll need a little penicillin.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Bookman: (to Jerry) Well I got a flash for ya' joy-boy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: HELLO!
Marion: HELLO!
Mr. Bookman: Hello.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: There I was on the steps of the 42nd St. library, a grown man, getting a wedgie.
Elaine: At least it wasn't atomic.
George: It was.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Lippman wants to see me. SEE ME! That can't be good.
Jerry: Maybe you're getting a raise.
Elaine: Maybe I'm getting a wedgie.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everbody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Remember that Columbus book?Jerry: Columbus... Euro trash
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Bookman: Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't he deserve better?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Bookman. The Library cop's name is Bookman. That's like an ice cream man being named cone!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: He [Mr. Haymen] purposely mispronounced my name. Instead of saying Costanza, he'd say 'Can't stand ya'.
 • Rating: Unrated

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