Seinfeld

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes (Page 16)

Season 3 Episode 2: "The Truth"

Elaine: And now you're being audited for it. See, that's Karma.
Jerry: No, that's Kramer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: You're extremely...careful...with money.
George: I'm cheap? You think I'm CHEAP? How could you say that to me? I can't
believe this. How could you say that to me?
Elaine: You asked me to!
George: You should have lied!
Elaine: HUH, so should you.
George: I mean I'm not really working right now.
Elaine: I know.
George: When I was working I SPENT baby!
Jerry: Yeah, I know champagne, limos, cigars.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: What is this?
Kramer: Well, it's a windshield. It's going to be your new coffee table.
Elaine: Ah, I'm going to kill myself on that thing. You can't even see it.
Jerry: You'll sense it.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: The IRS! They're like the Mafia! They can take anything they want!
 • Rating: Unrated

(all to Elaine)
Kramer: So is everything cool?
Tina: Yea, you seem a bit dysfunctional.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Pity is very underrated.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: They give you those word association tests. I love those.Jerry: That'd be great. There's no wrong answer.George: Potato.Jerry: Tuberculosis.George: Blanket.Jerry: Leroy.George: Grass.Jerry: Tuberculosis.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Blame me.
Jerry: No, I blame myself.
Kramer: No blame me.
Jerry: OK, I blame you.
Kramer: What don't blame me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Who walks into a women's bedroom without knocking?!
Kramer: I thought it was a closet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: My cousin Douglas was in a place like this one time. He came over to my house for dinner. There was no soda and he went berserk. He was screaming. "Where's the Pepsi, where's the Pepsi?"
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I was audited last year. At first I thought well, IRS kinda sounds like Toys 'R Us maybe won't be so bad.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 1: "The Note"

George: I think it moved.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I've shifted, this was a move!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: It was imperceptible, but I felt it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Roy: Don't mind her.Jerry: Oh please, I love her.George: I've just met her, but I'm very impressed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Raymond: I used to be a flight attendant.George: Oh boy.Raymond: Ya know, why don't you open those pants, it's gonna be a lot easier that way.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: She doesn't want to hear that, that was stupid.Jerry: I know it was stupid.Elaine: Really stupid...
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: How can you do that to your friend! He's got a wife, kids...and a lot of other stuff! Yeee-eah...
 • Rating: Unrated

George: What if it feels good?Elaine: It's supposed to feel good.George: I don't want it to feel good.
 • Rating: Unrated

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