Seinfeld

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 3 Episode 19: "The Limo"

George: (on the phone) Yeah, hello, police? Uh, yeah, listen, uh, we're in the back of a limo in Queens-
(Tim re-enters the limo)
George UhAstroturf? You know who's responsible for that, don't you?! The Jews! (hangs up the phone) Ah, the Jews hate grass. They always have, they always will.
Tim: We'll be ready in a minute.
George: Would you excuse us for a minute, Tim boy, we're, uh, kind of in the middle of something.
Tim: With all due respect, Mr. O'Brien, we're just about to leave.
(George moves and sits down next to Tim)
George: Tim, who's the head of the Aryan Union, you or me?
Tim: You are.
George: And who is responsible for making hatemongering and fascism popular again?
Tim: You are.
George: Okay? I think you forgot something.
Tim: I'm sorry.
George: Good. Now, get out.
(Tim leaves)
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: (points to Jerry) O'Brien, long time no see. (points to George) How's tricks, Murphy?
Tim: Why did you call him O'Brien and him Murphy?
Jerry: No, he was talking to me. He's cross-eyed.
Elaine: It could be very confusing.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(George is in front of the news camera as the on-screen graphic says "DONALD O'BRIEN Leader of the Aryan Union").
George: I am not O'Brien! I am not O'Brien! I repeat, I am not O'Brien! Ask anyone! Jerry! JERRY!
 • Rating: Unrated

Eva: What was that you said about the myth of the Holocaust?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I'll tell you one thing, this chauffeur's gonna be waiting a while. O'Brien's not showing up.
George: How do you know?
Jerry: He was in Chicago. Flight was overbooked; they wouldn't let him on the plane. He kept screaming how he had to get to Madison Square Garden.
George: We should take his limo.
Jerry: Yeah, right.
(Jerry begins to walk away, but George suddenly stops him)
George: Wait a second. Think about it. He's not showing up. Wait till you see the line for cabs, it's, like, 45 minutes long. You said he's in Chicago.
Jerry: He's definitely in Chicago.
George: Well, the guy's just standing there.
(Jerry looks at the chauffeur, who checks his watch)
Jerry: How would we do it?
George: We just go up to him and say, "We're O'Brien."
Jerry: Maybe he knows O'Brien.
George: No, he doesn't know O'Brien, if he knew O'Brien, he wouldn't have a sign.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Who's gonna be O'Brien?
George: I'll be O'Brien.
Jerry: Who am I?
George: You're you.
Jerry: Just me?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: Okay.
George: You don't wanna be you?
Jerry: Well, if you're gonna be O'Brien, why can't I be somebody?
George: Like who?
Jerry: Dylan Murphy.
George: Okay.
Jerry: What, now you wanna be Dylan Murphy?
George: Well, I like Dylan.
Jerry: You could be Colin.
George: Okay, Colin O'Brien.
Jerry: I'm Dylan Murphy.
George: I'm Colin O'Brien.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Hello, Ma? It's me. Guess where I am? In the back of a limo. No, nobody died. It's a long story, I can't tell you now. Because I can't. I said I can't. If I could, I would. Would you stop it. All right, look, I'm getting off. No, I'm not telling you. How's this - I'm never telling you. I don't care. No. Fine. Never!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 18: "The Boyfriend: Part 2"

Jerry/Elaine: (mimicking their friend) You gotta see the baby!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Hello? Oh, hi Elaine. What's going on? No, he just left. You broke up with him? Me too!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: So I guess it's fair to say you've set different goals for yourself than say, Thomas Edison, Magellan, these types of people.
George: Magellan? You like Magellan?
Jerry: Oh, yeah. My favorite explorer. Around the world. Come on. Who do you like?
George: I like DeSoto.
Jerry: DeSoto? What did he do?
George: Discovered the Mississippi.
Jerry: Oh, like they wouldn't have found that anyway.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carol: (on her baby) So, who do you think she looks like?
Kramer: Lyndon Johnson.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carrie: Thank you for a wonderful time, George.
George: Glad you enjoyed it.
Carrie: I haven't had a Big Mac in a long time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: I love Cajun cooking.
Keith: Really? You know my mom's Cajun.
Elaine: Oh, my father's drunk. *laughs*
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: So, did you two, uh... have uh...
Elaine: What?!
Jerry: You know.
Elaine: Milk?
Jerry: No!
Elaine: Cookies?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carrie: It's over buddy. Done. Finished. So long. Good bye. Adios. Sayonara.
George: Why?
Carrie: I've been thinkin' about it. You got no job. You got no prospects. You're like Biff Loman.
George: I went to the hardware store interview.
Carrie: You think I'm going to spend my life with somebody because he can get me a deal on a box of nails?
 • Rating: Unrated

Keith: Elaine, you don't know the first thing about first base.
Elaine: Ha, ha. Well, I know something about getting to first base. And I know you'll never be there.
Keith: The way I figure it I've already been there, and I plan on rounding second tonight at around eleven o'clock.
Elaine: Well, uh, I'd watch the third base coach if I were you 'cause I don't think he's waving you in.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: That's what death is, really: it's the last big move. The hearse is like the van, the pallbearers are your close friends, the only ones you can ask to help you in a move like this, and the casket is that one perfect box you've been looking for your entire life. The only problem is, once you find it, you're in it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Newman: Wow, it was McDowell.
Jerry: But why? Why McDowell?
Kramer: Well, maybe because we were sitting in the right field stands cursing at him in the bullpen all game.
Newman: He must have caught a glimpse of us when I poured that beer on his head.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 17: "The Boyfriend: Part 1"

Jerry: Vandelay Industries. Kal Varnsen speaking. How may I help you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry (on Keith Hernandez): Yeah, he's a real smart guy too. He's a Civil War buff.
George: I'd love to be a Civil War buff. What do you have to do to be a buff?
Jerry: So Biff wants to be a buff? Well, sleeping less than 18 hours a day would be a start.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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