Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes
What was that you said about the myth of the Holocaust?
Eva
I am not O'Brien! I am not O'Brien! I repeat, I am not O'Brien! Ask anyone! Jerry! JERRY!
.</i> George
Kramer: (points to Jerry) O'Brien, long time no see. (points to George) How's tricks, Murphy?
Tim: Why did you call him O'Brien and him Murphy?
Jerry: No, he was talking to me. He's cross-eyed.
Elaine: It could be very confusing.
Jerry: I'll tell you one thing, this chauffeur's gonna be waiting a while. O'Brien's not showing up.
George: How do you know?
Jerry: He was in Chicago. Flight was overbooked; they wouldn't let him on the plane. He kept screaming how he had to get to Madison Square Garden.
George: We should take his limo.
Jerry: Yeah, right.
(Jerry begins to walk away, but George suddenly stops him)
George: Wait a second. Think about it. He's not showing up. Wait till you see the line for cabs, it's, like, 45 minutes long. You said he's in Chicago.
Jerry: He's definitely in Chicago.
George: Well, the guy's just standing there.
(Jerry looks at the chauffeur, who checks his watch)
Jerry: How would we do it?
George: We just go up to him and say, "We're O'Brien."
Jerry: Maybe he knows O'Brien.
George: No, he doesn't know O'Brien, if he knew O'Brien, he wouldn't have a sign.
Nice lookin' Luger.
Jerry
George: (reading the speech he's been given) ". . . and so the Jews, through their Zionist occupied governments, use the black man to import drugs into our underprivileged, white, minority communities."
Jerry: You're not going to open with that, are you?
Hello, Ma? It's me. Guess where I am? In the back of a limo. No, nobody died. It's a long story, I can't tell you now. Because I can't. I said I can't. If I could, I would. Would you stop it. All right, look, I'm getting off. No, I'm not telling you. How's this - I'm never telling you. I don't care. No. Fine. Never!
George
There's always been something very strange about Jerry. Always so clean and organized.
Kramer
She's a Nazi, George. A Nazi!
Jerry
Jerry: Maybe he (the chauffer) knows O'Brien.
George: No, he doesn't know O'Brien, if he knew O'Brien, he wouldn't have a sign.
Jerry: Who's gonna be O'Brien?
George: I'll be O'Brien.
Jerry: Who am I?
George: You're you.
Jerry: Just me?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: Okay.
George: You don't wanna be you?
Jerry: Well, if you're gonna be O'Brien, why can't I be somebody?
George: Like who?
Jerry: Dylan Murphy.
George: Okay.
Jerry: What, now you wanna be Dylan Murphy?
George: Well, I like Dylan.
Jerry: You could be Colin.
George: Okay, Colin O'Brien.
Jerry: I'm Dylan Murphy.
George: I'm Colin O'Brien.
George: (on the phone) Yeah, hello, police? Uh, yeah, listen, uh, we're in the back of a limo in Queens-
(Tim re-enters the limo)
George UhAstroturf? You know who's responsible for that, don't you?! The Jews! (hangs up the phone) Ah, the Jews hate grass. They always have, they always will.
Tim: We'll be ready in a minute.
George: Would you excuse us for a minute, Tim boy, we're, uh, kind of in the middle of something.
Tim: With all due respect, Mr. O'Brien, we're just about to leave.
(George moves and sits down next to Tim)
George: Tim, who's the head of the Aryan Union, you or me?
Tim: You are.
George: And who is responsible for making hatemongering and fascism popular again?
Tim: You are.
George: Okay? I think you forgot something.
Tim: I'm sorry.
George: Good. Now, get out.
(Tim leaves)
