Seinfeld

NBC

Season: 4 3 2 1

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 3 Episode 15: "The Suicide"

Elaine: It's really bad for the fetus. Do you know that.
George: Elaine, she's a psychic. She knows how the kid's going to be.
• Rating: Unrated

Gina: I do not like your toothbrush. There are no bristles.
Jerry: You can say what you want about me but I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here while you insult my toothbrush.
• Rating: Unrated

Gina: Come, you walk me to a cab.
Jerry: Well, uh, I uh, I don't want you to get upset or anything but uh, with Martin and all, well maybe it's not such a good idea for us to be seen together in the building, because, you know, he had a lot of friends here.
Gina: You're still afraid. You are not a man.
Jerry: Well then what are all those ties and sport jackets doing in my closet?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: How do we know that dog food is any good? Who tastes it?
Jerry: She's really hungry.
• Rating: Unrated

Elaine: And there it was, mountains of duck. And not fatty duck either, but juicy tender breasts of duck.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: So how was it?
Kramer: George, I would like to thank you for the greatest four days I ever spent in my life. They were shooting the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue right in the hotel pool.
Jerry: Whoa. (hits George)
Kramer: Not only that but at the hotel they opened up this area on the beach for nude bathing and all of the Sports Illustrated models went down there.
Jerry: Wow! (hits George)
Kramer: I was on the next blanket from Elle McPherson
Jerry: Oh! hits George)
Kramer: We played Backgammon in the nude.
Jerry: Oh! (hits George)
Kramer: She's a sweet kid.
Jerry: Nude backgammon with swimsuit models! (hits George)
Kramer: Oh, you know what? The second day I was there I stepped on a jellyfish. Now it kind of stung my foot. That's probably what Rula was trying to warn you about.
George: Yeah, you gotta watch for the jellyfish.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: Let me ask you a question. If you named a kid Rasputin do you think that would have a negative effect on his life?
Elaine: Nah.
• Rating: Unrated

Kramer: The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since one-hour martinizing.
• Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 14: "The Pez Dispenser"

Kramer: Is this the interference?
• Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (to George) You've never been to a flea market and you think they have fleas there.
• Rating: Unrated

George: You can't break up with me. I've got hand!Noel: And you're gonna need it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: Could we cut to the chase here.Jerry: Cut to the chase? What are you Joe Hollywood? I would lose that.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: (working on a crossword) What's a three letter word for candy?Jerry: I could never do those things.
• Rating: Unrated

George: I've got so much hand I'm coming out of my glove.
• Rating: Unrated

Intervener #1: He's here! What do we do?Intervener #2: Hide!Jerry: It's not a surprise party!
• Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Well, it's these people-- they go swimmin' in the winter. They're terrific; I just took my first swim today. Brrrrrrr! It's invigorating.
Jerry: Yeah So's shock therapy.
• Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I don't have a good apartment for an intervention. The furniture is very non-confrontational.
• Rating: Unrated

George: I have no power. Why should she have the upper hand? Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand. No hand at all. She has the hand. I have no hand.
• Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.
Elaine: Well, maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her leg.
Jerry: Even if this so-called mental defective did put something on her leg, she's still the one who laughed.
• Rating: Unrated