Cynthia thought we should nuke the rainforest, get rid of it in one sweep, just so we can eliminate it as a topic of conversation.

Elaine

She missed her period? Oh, my God. I can't believe it! I'm a father! I did it! MY BOYS CAN SWIM!!!

George

(breaking up a fight between Jerry and George) The next one of you that opens up your mouth and says something, you're gonna have to deal with me!

Kramer

It's hard enough to meet a woman you dislike, much less like.

George

George: I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive.Jerry: So, hopelessness is the key?George: It's my only hope.

(breaking up Jerry and Elaine's fight) Can't you two see that you're in LOVE with each other?

Kramer

Elaine: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.
Jerry: I went out with you.
Elaine: That's because my standards are too low.

Elaine: Well, at least you're not bitter.Cynthia: Who says I'm not bitter?Elaine: Aren't you too young to be bitter?

Elaine: Hey, have you ever fasted?
Jerry: Well, once I didn't have dinner until, like nine o'clock. That was pretty rough.

It's not like a Sonny Von Bulow coma.

Jerry

Gina: A man is lying here unconscious and you're afraid of him? What kind of a man are you?
Jerry: A man who respects a good coma.

George: Hey, I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands this Friday.
Jerry: I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job? What, do you need a break from getting up at 11:00?

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 329 in total

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes

How often do you cut your toe-nails?

Kramer

Who's this chucker?

Keith Hernandez
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