Cynthia thought we should nuke the rainforest, get rid of it in one sweep, just so we can eliminate it as a topic of conversation.


She missed her period? Oh, my God. I can't believe it! I'm a father! I did it! MY BOYS CAN SWIM!!!


(breaking up a fight between Jerry and George) The next one of you that opens up your mouth and says something, you're gonna have to deal with me!


It's hard enough to meet a woman you dislike, much less like.


George: I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive.Jerry: So, hopelessness is the key?George: It's my only hope.

(breaking up Jerry and Elaine's fight) Can't you two see that you're in LOVE with each other?


Elaine: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.
Jerry: I went out with you.
Elaine: That's because my standards are too low.

Elaine: Well, at least you're not bitter.Cynthia: Who says I'm not bitter?Elaine: Aren't you too young to be bitter?

Elaine: Hey, have you ever fasted?
Jerry: Well, once I didn't have dinner until, like nine o'clock. That was pretty rough.

It's not like a Sonny Von Bulow coma.


Gina: A man is lying here unconscious and you're afraid of him? What kind of a man are you?
Jerry: A man who respects a good coma.

George: Hey, I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands this Friday.
Jerry: I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job? What, do you need a break from getting up at 11:00?

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes

Punk Dude: Hey Kramer, have you ever killed a man?!
Kramer: What do you think Junior? You think these hands - they've been soaking in Ivory Liquid?


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