I used to think those people who sat alone at Starbucks writing on their laptops were pretentious posers. Now I know, they are people who have recently moved in with someone.

Carrie

• Permalink: I used to think those people who sat alone at Starbucks writing ...
• Added: August 17, 2010

Aidan: What do you need two doors for?
Carrie: Well, cause you know sometimes I'm in a hurry I just brriinrr that one and it's my escape hatch in case.
Aidan: In case what?
Carrie: In case rapists come in my bedroom window, I see 'em in the mirror and I wriiirr! Gone.

• Permalink: What do you need two doors for? Well, cause you know sometime...
• Added: August 17, 2010

Samantha: For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his big,throbbing, rock hard, perfect dick.
Trey walks in to hear the end of her sentence.
Trey:Whoops, forgot it was ladies night.

• Permalink: For the last time, the only thing I like about Richard is his bi...
• Added: August 17, 2010

Charlotte: Don't talk to my friends like that! Without a baby they're all I have!
Trey: And what am I?!
Charlotte: You are the man who gave me a cardboard baby!
Trey: It...was...funny!!
Charlotte: NO IT WASN'T!!!

• Permalink: Don't talk to my friends like that! Without a baby they're all I...
• Added: August 17, 2010