(to Carrie) Yes, I'm sorry about it all. I'm sorry that he moved to Paris and fell in love with me. I'm sorry we ever got married. I'm sorry he cheated on me with you and I'm sorry that I pretended to ignore it for as long as I did. I'm sorry I found you in my apartment, fell down the stairs and broke my tooth. I'm very sorry that after much painful dental surgery, this tooth is still a different color than this tooth. Finally, I'm very sorry that you felt the need to come down here. Now not only have you ruined my marriage, you've ruined my lunch.


Miranda: I can't believe he took your shoes!
Carrie: I know, I probably got trichinosis!
Miranda: You only get that from pork.
Carrie: Oh, well, I'm sure I stepped on a piece of it somewhere.

Sam: That was awesome.
Samantha: Yes it was.
Sam: Sam.
Samantha: Yes, Sam.
Sam: I think I love you?
Samantha: Oh, honey, that wasn't love, that was sex.

Samantha: Maybe the universe is telling me that I should fuck that cute virgin and give him that great first time experience that I never had?
Carrie: That's not karma, that's statutory rape.

(on the phone with Miranda) Tell Detective Stevens, if he sees a woman with last years pink suede Manolo Blahnik strappy sandals, bring her in for questioning immediately.


Carrie: I don't understand this? I get mugged and you get him? I guess that's my karma.
Miranda: Just because he said he's gonna call doesn't mean he's gonna call.
Carrie: What are you talking about? The man was smitten with you.
Miranda: He probably wants free legal advice, that's usually my karma.

Robber: (points a gun in her face) Give me your bag!
Carrie: What?
Robber: Your bag.
Carrie: It's a baguette.
Robber: Let me have it.
Carrie: (thinks) I couldn't believe it? Fifteen years in New York and just when the city was getting safe, I was getting robbed.
Carrie: Is this for real?
Robber: Your watch and your ring, quick.
Carrie: Jesus!
Robber: And your Manolo Blahniks!
Carrie: What? No!
Robber: Give me your fucking Blahniks!
Carrie: (thinks) These guys weren't just after money anymore, they were after fashion.

Charlotte: He was so tan and muscular, and sweat ran down from his chest unto his perfectly defined stomach.
Carrie: See, you read a couple of Harlequin romances in high school and they scar you for life.

Charlotte: I'm married, I can't be looking at gardeners. This is insane.
Samantha: Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to fuck a gardener?

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