Big: What relgion are you?
Carrie: I'm no one in particular, I'm open to all.
Big: Kinda, like a seven eleven.

Carrie: There he was, wearing Armani on a Sunday: Mr. Big. I'll admit it was a bit of a shock [to see him going to church]. Up until that moment I thought he only believed in the Yankees.

Carrie: Oh, look we've all been there.
Miranda: That's for sure. I was once with a guy the size of those little miniature golf pencils, I couldn't tell if he was trying to fuck me or erase me.
(Carrie starts laughing and Samantha begins to cry)
Carrie: I'm sorry...it's just...it's funny.

Charlotte: So, which church does his mother go to?
Carrie: Park Avenue Presbyterian.
Charlotte: Good church! It's one of the best on the East Side!
Carrie: What? Are you rating churches? Is there a Zagat guide for that?
Miranda: Four stars. Great bread. Disappointing wine selection.

Miranda: You wanna spend the night?
Skipper: The night, the whole night?
Miranda: Yea, the whole night.
Skipper: I knew we'd get back together.
Miranda: You did?
Skipper: Yep! Every night I'd light a candle and say a little pray.
Miranda: You're a freak!

Miranda: Don't beat yourself up, you had certain expectations, and your disappointed.
Samantha: Why? Why? Why does he have a small dick? I really like him.
Miranda: I thought you loved him?
Samantha: Well..shrugs shoulders

Samantha is crying
Carrie: What's going on, why are you crying?
Samantha: James has a small dick.
Carrie: Well, it's not the end of the world.
Samantha: It's really small.
Miranda: How small?
Samantha: Too small.
Carrie: Well, size isn't everything....
Samantha: Three inches.....
Carrie: Well....
Samantha: Hard!
Charlotte: Is he a good kisser?
Samantha: Oh, who the fuck cares! His dick is like a gherkin!

Carrie: So you think the water serves as a retro baptism kind of thing?
Miranda: Beats me! If I'd known he was Catholic I never would've have gone out with him in the first place. They should make him wear a sign.

Miranda: Three times? Try three months.
Carrie: No?
Miranda: Yes. Now would be a good time to wipe that horrible look off your face.
Carrie: I'm sorry sweetie, I just, I didn't know. Where have I been?
Miranda: You've been having sex. I've been at Blockbuster renting videos. It's tragic. I'm like two rentals away from a free pound of gummy bears.
Carrie: Relax, you're just in a dry spell.
Miranda: I can't believe you just said that. You're all freaked out about three times. I'm talking three months.

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