Sex and the City

Sex and the City Season 1 Quotes (Page 2)

Season 1 Episode 11: "The Drought"

Samantha: Sex is the barometer for what's going on in the relationship.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carrie: I farted.
Samantha: Then move your mat away.
Carrie: Not, now, I did it in front of Big.
Samantha: Big mistake.
Carrie: You think? It wasn't a choice. I'm human. It happened.
Samantha: No, honey, you're a woman, and men don't like women to be human. We aren't supposed to fart, douche, use tampons or have hair in places we shouldn't .
 • Rating: Unrated

Samantha: Men aren't that complicated, they're kinda like plants.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carrie: Meeting a friend's new boyfriend for the first time is always a little tense, what if you don't like him, what if he doesn't like you?
Charlotte: Kevin, this my good friend Carrie.
Kevin: Hey, Carrie.
Carrie: What if you've already slept with him?
Charlotte: You two know each other?
Carrie: Well, kind of....
Kevin: We used to go out.
Carrie: Well, kind of used to go out.
Charlotte: You two used to go out, that's so funny.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin leaves to answer his phone
Charlotte: Ok when?
Carrie: Umm, three years ago.
Charlotte: Three years, I can live with that. Serious?
Carrie: Oh no!
Charlotte: Good! Why'd you two break up?
Carrie: You know, we were in different places and I .....
Charlotte: Listen, Carrie, we don't have time for diplomacy, just tell me.
Carrie: He's a sex maniac.
 • Rating: Unrated

the women are spying on Carrie's neighbours having sex
Charlotte: It never goes down does it? Look it's still....
Samantha: Hard.
Charlotte: Yeah.
Samantha: Gummy bear please. Give me the f**king candy.
Carrie: Hey, snapping over gummy bears might be a sign that celibacy is not for you.
Samantha: All I can say is that, my big payoff better be worth it.
Miranda: Samantha, I don't understand you, there are people out there starving and your fasting.
 • Rating: Unrated

Miranda: I'm warning you ladies, if I make it to four months, I'm humping one of you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carrie: New York City is all about sex. People getting it, people trying to get it, people who can't get it. No wonder the city never sleeps. It's too busy trying to get laid.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 10: "The Baby Shower"

Miranda: I just realized; maybe it's maturity or the wisdom that comes with age, but the witch in Hansel and Gretel, she's very misunderstood. I mean, the woman builds her dream house, and these brats come along, and start eating it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Samantha: I don't have a baby! Everybody drink!
 • Rating: Unrated

Samantha: Frankly, I think it's sad, the way she's using a child to validate her existence.
Carrie: Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us?
 • Rating: Unrated

Samantha: So help me, she f**ks on my couch, she buys it.
Carrie: Isn't that how you got the couch from me?
 • Rating: Unrated

Carrie: Oh s**t! I totally spaced. I forgot to buy her a present. How tacky is it to give the mother-to-be a fistful of cash?
Samantha: Oh don't worry about it. (Shows a bottle of Scotch) You can go in on mine.
Carrie: You bought a pregnant woman a bottle of Scotch?
Samantha: The invitation said BYOB.
Miranda: That meant, "Bring Your Own Baby".
Carrie: What did you get her?
Miranda: Condoms.
Carrie: Seriously. What'd you get her?
Miranda: Seriously. They're pastel.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charlotte: Stop it! You're not gonna clean up at your own shower.
Laney's friend: Yeah relax, cause once little Todd or Shayla comes around, you'll never stop cleaning up.
Charlotte: Shayla? Did you say Shayla?
Laney's friend: It's so unique, isn't it?
Charlotte: It's so my name!
Laney's friend: I thought your name was Charlotte.
Charlotte: No, it's not my name, it's my name! My secret baby name that I made up when I was eleven years old for my daughter when I had her. I told you. Don't tell me you don't remember.
Laney: No I'm sorry. I really don't.
Carrie: (voiceover) A complete lie. She remembered. We all remembered. Charlotte had made us all swear never to use it.
Laney: Anyway I think my husband heard it somewhere else.
Charlotte: Really, where, because I didn't tell him.
Laney: I can't believe you're freaking out over a name.
Laney's friend: I mean, you're not even pregnant.
Charlotte: That's not the point!
Samantha: (joining) What's going on?
Charlotte: She stole my baby name.
Samantha: You bitch! Let's go.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carrie: Charlotte, come on. You're still young. You have plenty of time to have children.
Charlotte: No, no I don't. I don't want to be one of those 40-year-old moms. (Glances at Samantha) No, no offence.
Samantha: Well I don't want to be one of them either. There are no frozen eggs in my freezer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carrie: You don't have to lose yourself to have a kid. I know plenty of cool, hip mothers who live in the City and who still have great careers and stuff.
Samantha and Miranda: (at the same time) Who?
 • Rating: Unrated

(Carrie's period is late seven days)
Samantha: Oh honey, gray area. True, you're in front of the firing squad, but you haven't been shot.
Miranda: I was once ten days late.
Carrie: Really? Were you having sex?
Miranda: ...No.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Carrie and Miranda at the drug store)
Carrie: I'm on total ovary overload. Which kind do I get?
Miranda: Here. This one's on sale. Half off.
Carrie: Sweetie, I just spent 395 dollars on a pair of open-toed Gucci's last week. This is not the place to be frugal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carrie: What if I am?
Miranda: If you am, you am.
Carrie: I don't think I'd be very good at this. I mean, am I maternal?
Miranda: Um...ye...
Carrie: You know when I was a little girl, I left my favorite baby doll out in the rain for four days. Her face peeled off. That can't be good.
Miranda: Yeah, but I mean if you...
Carrie: I shaved my Barbie's head when I was mad at her.
Miranda: When I was little, I took a rubber band and put it around my dog Pepper's snout.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 9: "The Turtle and the Hare"

Miranda: What's the big deal? In 50 years men are gonna be obsolete anyway. I mean, already you can't talk to them, you don't need them to have kids with, you don't need them to have sex with anymore, as I've very pleasantly discovered.
Samantha: Uh oh, sounds like somebody just got their first vibrator.
Miranda: Not first, ultimate. And I think I'm in love.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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