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Samantha: Don't you think this dress could stand to be a little bit shorter?
Charlotte: Samantha, all the skirts have to be the same length.
Samantha: Really? What about Trey's skirt?
Charlotte: It's a kilt, and it's tradition.
- Permalink: Don't you think this dress could stand to be a little bit shorte...
Charlotte: The pink posties are for the gowns I kinda like, the green posties are for gowns I kinda really like and the yellow posties are for the gowns I don't know if I like.
Miranda: Kill me, please. Just take a sharp object and drag it across my throat.
- Permalink: The pink posties are for the gowns I kinda like, the green posti...
Samantha: Have you all had an AIDS test?
Carrie: Good morning, where did that come from?
Samantha: I just met this very hot guy and he won't sleep with me, unless I have a test.
Charlotte: Samantha, we're looking at wedding gowns, could you please not talk about AIDS right now?
Carrie: Wait, you've never had an HIV test?
Samantha: No! Have you?
Miranda: Three. How can you not have had an AIDS test?
Carrie: She doesn't mean that the way it sounds. It's just that, well, why not, sweetie?
Samantha: I always practice safe sex.
(Carrie stares at her)
Samantha: Alright, I'm terrified. What if I have it?
Carrie: You don't have it.
Samantha: Sometimes, it takes me a really long time to get over a cold.
Carrie: That's not AIDS, that's central air.
- Permalink: Have you all had an AIDS test? Good morning, where did that co...
Miranda: Who else know about this?
Carrie: Samantha and God.
Miranda: Not Charlotte?
Carrie: Please, if the worlder queener bride knew I was having an affair, she'd kill me.
Miranda: Well, at least you wouldn't have to be a bridesmaid.
- Permalink: Who else know about this? Samantha and God. Not Charlotte? ...
Miranda: Oh, cute purse.
Charlotte: No purses, there's no time for purses, this is gowns, specific.
Miranda: What's your theme again? A Nazi wedding?
- Permalink: Oh, cute purse. No purses, there's no time for purses, this is...
Charlotte: I'm getting married in three weeks how would you feel if somebody did this to me?
Carrie: I would kill them.
- Permalink: I'm getting married in three weeks how would you feel if somebod...
Charlotte: You ever think about how she'd feel if she found out?
Carrie: Yes, I think about it all the time.
Charlotte: "No you don't "! You think about what will happen to you if she found out. You don't think about her, she's just the idiot wife. You don't know anything about her.
- Permalink: You ever think about how she'd feel if she found out? Yes, I t...
Carrie; I have to go.
Big: Hey, Carrie, thanks for being here. I'll call you.
Carrie: For what? We're so over, we need a new word for over.
- Permalink: Carrie; I have to go. Hey, Carrie, thanks for being here. I'll...
Charlotte: He's married, Carrie.
Carrie: I know he's married.
Charlotte: That makes you the other woman, you're the other woman.
Carrie: I'm not the other woman, I'm not. I mean I know I am, but, I'm not that woman.
- Permalink: He's married, Carrie. I know he's married. That makes you th...
Miranda: I can't have sex with a sandwich. Can I?
Carrie: Well, I never thought I'd have sex with a married ex, can a hoagie be that far behind?
- Permalink: I can't have sex with a sandwich. Can I? Well, I never thought...
Carrie: Okay, I have something to tell you and your not going to like it. And believe me I would rather tell anyone but you, but I have to...
Carrie: Cause, I need your help...
Carrie: I'm having an affair with Big.
Miranda: I swear to God, I think my heart just stopped.
- Permalink: Okay, I have something to tell you and your not going to like it...
Nurse: Do you have sex?
Nurse: Do you have anal sex,
Nurse: Do you have oral sex,
Samantha: Yes, yes.
Nurse: Do you swallow?
Samantha: Only when surprised.
Nurse: Do you use condoms?
Nurse: What kind of condoms?
Samantha: Trojan, Lifestyle, Chic, Wet n Wild...
Nurse: No, I meant, latex, lamp-skin?
Samantha: Oh, yes, yes.
Nurse: How many sexual partners have you had?
(silence from Samantha, nurse looks at her)
Samantha: I'm counting. (thinks) This year?
- Permalink: Do you have sex? Yes Do you have anal sex, Yes. Do you ...