Sundays 9:00 PM on Showtime
Shameless

Wanna torture your parents? Bring them to my house for dinner tonight. Here's the address. We're having leftover lasagna I stole from the cafeteria. Don't ever say I'm not a man of my word again.

Lip

I don't have an interest in being a mistress anymore.

Ian

You have to wake up, you've got some husbandly duties to attend.

Sheila [to Frank]

Carl: Frank survived his liver transplanti n case you were wondering.
Ian: Nope, wasn't.

I just wanna say that I love you and that I forgive you for everything...unless you live, then I'm still pissed off.

Debbie [to Frank]

Fiona: I don't wanna be another Frank or Monica. I'm not fishing for a pep talk, I just...I don't know who I am anymore, because clearly I'm not the big sister who's taking care of anyone.
Lip: Maybe that's good?
Fiona: How?
Lip: There's more to you than that.

Are you robbing me with my own fucking gun?

Mickey [to Kev]

Debbie: That's not like Fiona.
Lip: What has she done this month that's like Fiona?

What if she's pulling a Frank?

Lip [about Fiona]

All I do is look for my family. I'm getting all of you ankle monitors.

Debbie

Debbie: Why do guys care so much about sex?
Carl: Because it feels awesome.
Debbie: How would you know?
Carl: If my hand's anything like the real thing, it's off the chain.

I prefer carcinogens to endorphins.

Lip
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 332 in total

Shameless Quotes

Lip: What exactly does hooked up mean?
Kevin: Last I checked penis goes into the vagina.

Surround sound bitching is the only thanks I get.

Frank
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