Well he may look like he's in a boy band, but he's got a point.

Veronica

Let's be honest, she's my last chance at happiness and that's more important than video games and masturbation, right?

Neighbor

You know when the plane starts going down and they tell you to put your mask on before helping anyone else, well put your mask on Fiona.

Steve

You can't beat karate when it comes to regulated sanctioned violence for the children.

Debbie

Those terrapins were a parting gift from this Skidmore chick who sucked me off like I had diamonds buried in the bottom of my ballsack.

Principal

I am not a religious man, but every now and then, a child comes along who makes me believe in the existence of Satan.

Principal

Hey Mickey, why don't you steal from a neighborhood you don't live in? Have some civic pride.

Ian

That is a paper mache pile of shit.

Teacher

Fiona: Text ya later?
Steve: Make it dirty.

Keep laughing, or I will slit your throat in your sleep.

Karen

Brush your teeth, I wanna play.

Fiona

Tourettes coupled with bipolar disorder and a drinking problem, he's a shrink's wet dream.

Veronica

Shameless Quotes

Lip: You are gorgeous, okay? You are sweet. You are funny. You're very smart. You know that, right?
Mandy: Shut up.
Lip: Hey, hey, I mean it, okay? You're a good person Mandy.

Sean: You took your monitor off yourself.
Fiona: So?
Sean: So, you should have waited for the P.O. and you know it.
Fiona: That's a technicality. You're gonna judge me for that?
Sean: No, I'm not gonna judge you for that. I find it charming as fuck that you took a screwdriver to your monitor. And I find it sexy as hell that you had a bloody lip before lunch today.
Fiona: Are you making fun of me?
Sean: No. It's just you're a chaos junkie, Fiona. And I'm a junkie, junkie. So I love chaos. And when I get into chaos, bad shit follows.