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Shameless

Are you robbing me with my own fucking gun?

Mickey [to Kev]

Debbie: That's not like Fiona.
Lip: What has she done this month that's like Fiona?

What if she's pulling a Frank?

Lip [about Fiona]

All I do is look for my family. I'm getting all of you ankle monitors.

Debbie

Debbie: Why do guys care so much about sex?
Carl: Because it feels awesome.
Debbie: How would you know?
Carl: If my hand's anything like the real thing, it's off the chain.

I prefer carcinogens to endorphins.

Lip

Hey Mike if you give me another chance, I promise not to screw your brother or commit a felony!

Fiona

Carl: How can you tell when you're in love with someone?
Debbie: When you wanna rip out someone's heart and stomp on it until it's soup.

Mickey: You are the worst f**king pimp I've ever seen.
Kev: Is that supposed to be some kind of insult?

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