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Hey Mike if you give me another chance, I promise not to screw your brother or commit a felony!


Carl: How can you tell when you're in love with someone?
Debbie: When you wanna rip out someone's heart and stomp on it until it's soup.

Mickey: You are the worst f**king pimp I've ever seen.
Kev: Is that supposed to be some kind of insult?

Frank: Take me to The Alibi.
Sammi: The bar.
Frank: I've always been comfortable there.

I try to make it a point of not banging my roommate's girlfriend.


They're all growing up. What did you expect? You need to figure out your own needs.

V [to Fiona]

I hate myself for a number of reasons right now and I'm not going to add being a snitch to the list.


Carl: You shot no one, you flew nothing, why'd you even go there in the first place?
Ian: Relationship issues.

I'm done living the way other people want me to live.


My winter boots don't fit. All I can get on are fuck me pumps and tennis shoes.


Sammi: Here's your oxys and your perkies.
Frank: Just like mom used to make.

Nix that one. My thrill drill is out of juice.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 332 in total

Shameless Quotes

Lip: What exactly does hooked up mean?
Kevin: Last I checked penis goes into the vagina.

Surround sound bitching is the only thanks I get.