We're taking care of him here. You, me, us. He's f**king family.

Mickey [to Fiona]

I promise, I'm gonna be a better dad.

Kev: Look I'm just trying to put everything in the past okay? I'm a conscientious objector now.
Mickey: What the f*ck does that mean?
Kev: I don't really know. Something to do with Muhammed Ali. Peace and love.

Wanna torture your parents? Bring them to my house for dinner tonight. Here's the address. We're having leftover lasagna I stole from the cafeteria. Don't ever say I'm not a man of my word again.

Lip

I don't have an interest in being a mistress anymore.

Ian

You have to wake up, you've got some husbandly duties to attend.

Sheila [to Frank]

Carl: Frank survived his liver transplanti n case you were wondering.
Ian: Nope, wasn't.

I just wanna say that I love you and that I forgive you for everything...unless you live, then I'm still pissed off.

Debbie [to Frank]

Fiona: I don't wanna be another Frank or Monica. I'm not fishing for a pep talk, I just...I don't know who I am anymore, because clearly I'm not the big sister who's taking care of anyone.
Lip: Maybe that's good?
Fiona: How?
Lip: There's more to you than that.

Are you robbing me with my own fucking gun?

Mickey [to Kev]

Debbie: That's not like Fiona.
Lip: What has she done this month that's like Fiona?

What if she's pulling a Frank?

Lip [about Fiona]

Shameless Quotes

Lip: What exactly does hooked up mean?
Kevin: Last I checked penis goes into the vagina.

Surround sound bitching is the only thanks I get.

Frank