Fiona: Spare me, Sammi. Your kid did not get arrested because of me.
Sammi: Cause of your thug brother. In one fell swoop, you Gallagher's managed to ruin his whole future.
Fiona: Lets be honest, Chuckie was not exactly destined for great things. Pack your shit and get out.

Hey uncle Carl! I didn't know we were going to be neighbors. Will you tell me a story?


Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.

Mickey [to Ian]

Ian: I think this might be the end with Mickey. The diagnosis, you know, even if I don't believe it, I'm pretty sure he does.
Fiona: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I already blew it with my husband and I don't have any kind of diagnosis to pin it on.
Ian: Gallagher's.
Fiona: Gallagher's.

So either fight for this marriage or cut him loose. Let him lick his wounds and move on, ya know? This halfway thing you're doing, giving him space, it's kind of fucked. Right? If this is a relationship you wanna save, then you gotta fucking save it.

Sean [to Fiona]

Lip: Silence in our house usually means someone stopped breathing.
Fiona: Exactly.

Carl: Whatever, I'm out.
Frank: Off to deal drugs on a Saturday morning?
Carl: Yup.
Frank: Impressive work ethic, son. You do your old man proud.

Carl: Whats it feel like to be crazy?
Ian: Um, like I'm under a wet blanket. And cotton mouth.

Debbie: He's [Ian] totally Monica.
Frank: Without the great ass.

Jimmy/Steve: Take care of yourself, Fiona Gallagher.
Fiona: You take care of yourself, whatever the hell your real name is!

I'm probably biased, you deserve better than him.

Gus [to Fiona]

Sammi: If you don't get out right now, I will shoot you.
Frank: Go ahead. You don't have the guts.

Shameless Quotes

Lip: What exactly does hooked up mean?
Kevin: Last I checked penis goes into the vagina.

Surround sound bitching is the only thanks I get.