Are you gonna put those in my ass? Because I'm not even gonna feel that.


If memory serves, she was a Summa Cum Laude cunt.


Heyy, look at you baby Jonah, you're hung like a bear!


Well you know how Dad's a total fucking asshole? It turns out he's the good one.


If you will do this for me, I will dress up anyway you want, no safety word.


I was raised like a pack of wolves, just like you were, except my wolves went to Harvard.

Steve [to Deb]

Frank, I certainly hope you're not pooping in there. It's a closet.


Do come in. Can I get you something? Milk? Soda? A joint? It's medicinal.

Mrs. Lishman

Bartender: Like you in the sack, make it quick.
Frank: It wasn't quick, I was just busy that day.

Did you purposely order a Sex on the Beach so I'd say it to the gay bartender?


Fiona takes care of everyone, but no one takes care of Fiona.


I know I haven't been the most exemplary father for the past three, alright 15 years, but from now on we're gonna be a family again. (Looks at Mormon foster child) What the hell is that?!?


Shameless Season 1 Quotes

Lip: What exactly does hooked up mean?
Kevin: Last I checked penis goes into the vagina.

Surround sound bitching is the only thanks I get.