Abbud: What happened? Am I dead?
Chris: No. You fell and went splat.

What do you not get about being a lesbian? Let me clue you in. A key component is not hooking up with guys.

Chris: I don't want you to focus on love. Let's focus on the sick and the weak.
Abbud: I'm serious man.
Chris: Me too. That's why I want you humping the sick and the weak.

Every man in his life needs to ask himself once or twice a question. How much do I want to get high?


We all want to bunk with Tea, but pork ain't on the menu.


That moose is going to need some serious counseling.

I just hope you have secure packaging down there because you're going to be going on a trip of a lifetime.


Dave: Abbud, what have you learned?
Abbud: Never to hide a bomb up my ass.

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