Favorite South Park Quotes

Quit screwin' around.

Mr. Adler

Jonathan: It's simple. Priest Maxi didn't want there to be a Halloween, so he decided to scare everyone away from the docks.
David: Yeah. And then he used this flashlight and some cotton swabs to create the ghosts. (shows the flashlight and swabs, then shines the light through the swabs. The pirate ghosts appear in the distance)
Fieldy: (with some cheese and a cup)Then all he needed was some sound effects created by this cup and a piece of cheese. (holds them to his mouth and sounds) Aaaaraargh!
Jonathan: And all he had to do then was create a ghost ship, by using some candles, a mirror, and two squirrels. (genuflects to place the candle between the mirror and the squirrels. A pirate ship appears on the lake)
Chef: Father, why did you go to all this trouble?
Fr. Maxi: Because Halloween is an abomination of God. I would do anything to stop this wretched, unholy holiday!
Chef: Including killing people and wreaking havoc all over South Park?
Brunet: Don't you see that by trying to stop Halloween you've scared the hell out of everybody?
Fr. Maxi: No.

Me and the gang learned a lot and we hope you did too. You all perceived us to be mean, evil people but really we're just normal guys. And we all perceived pirate ghosts to be real when actually they were just cotton swabs. So I guess the lesson is it's easy to perceive something one way and then be wrong. So we all need to learn to be a little less perceptive.

Jonathan Davis

(Korn catches the pirate ghosts in a net.)
Jonathan Davis: Now let's see who these pirate ghosts really are.
(The pirate ghosts disappear.)
Jonathan Davis: Oh I guess they really were pirate ghosts.

Randy: Here's Korn's van!
Lady in mob: Let's flip it over!
Officer Barbrady: Okay people, let's try to stay orderly. The best way to do this is to all get on one side and push from the top.

Cartman: When I have you guy's 10 bucks I'm gonna use it to buy the sweetest big screen TV in the world.
Kyle: That's more than 10 bucks you stupid fat ass!
Cartman: But if I get 10 bucks from each of you that's like $2000.

What the hell? What the f--k is this?
(Mumbling as two more speeders fly by and bomb him to bits; then the rats converge on him.)

Kenny

Voice: Hi Kyle.
Kyle: (hops back) Aaaah!
Cartman: (who's providing the voice) Have you been a good boy, Kyle? Have you been making Grandma proud?
Kyle: Dammit Cartman! That's not funny!
Stan: (chuckling) Eh, eh! Yes it is.
Cartman: Heh heh, I'm sweet.
Kyle: Alright, alright, let's get this over with so we can put her back.
Stan: Okay, grab the sled.

Oh! Nibblet!

Korn

I love you. Let's be best friends and destroy American Capitalist government!

Chinpokomon doll

Down with America!

Chinpokomon doll

We love Chinpokomon too! It's super toy number one!

Randy

South Park Quotes

(Pulls out an automatic) Hello girls! I'm the easter bunny!

Janet Reno

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

South Park

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