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Stan: I made a promise to Jesus.
Randy: Stan, Jesus doesn't matter when Muhammad is involved.

Joseph Smith: Boys you need to understand that people get very offended when Muhammad is mocked because he's a religious figure.
Jesus: Buddha! Don't do coke in front of kids!

Tom Cruise: Imagine it, Tim. No one could rip on you for all the rehashed movies you've made lately. There'd never be a TV show that pointed out you haven't had an original thought since Beetlejuice. And you put Johnny Depp and the same crappy music in every film. And if you're so in love with Johnny Depp you should just have sex with him already. No TV show could ever say that.
Tim Burton: Gee, that'd be swell.

Tom Cruise: Jimmy buffet, how would you like it if no one could call your music drunken frat boy, monkey garbage?
Jimmy Buffet: I'd love it.

Detective: Dammit, Marsh. Why couldn't you have just kept your stupid, ugly kid in line?
Randy: Hey, don't start blaming me for his looks.

How come you're packing fudge, Mr. Cruise?

Butters

Hey guys look, Tom Cruise is a fudge packer.

Stan
Displaying all 7 quotes

South Park Season 14 Episode 5 Quotes

How come you're packing fudge, Mr. Cruise?

Butters

Hey guys look, Tom Cruise is a fudge packer.

Stan
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