South Park

South Park "A Very Crappy Christmas" Quotes

Cornwallis: But Dad, we're just pieces of crap, Christmas isn't for us.
 • Rating: Unrated

(in "The Spirit of Christmas")
Stan: Don't you see guys Christmas is about presents.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mayor: (enthusiastically) An animated Christmas card! Kids, that just might be the dumbest idea I've ever heard, ever!
 • Rating: Unrated

Butters: (as Barbie) Butters, would you like to slap my titties around?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Hanky: I'm just a stupid piece of crap.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(while making the Christmas Card)
Kyle: Ok. 'woo' mouths again...
Stan: (clicks camera) one. two.
Kyle: So how much done is that?
Stan: "We wish you a m-merry..."
Kyle: Jesus Christ.
 • Rating: Unrated

The Cycle Of Poo

Mr. Hanky: Everything that lives on Earth, poos in some way, and that's how the cycle happens each and everyday. Just look at the green, green grass and the birds up in the sky, it's all here because of poo and now I'll tell you why! Grass is eaten by the cattle, which is eaten by women and men, and fuses with their body, and becomes poo again. And that poo goes through the sewer, where it's dumped into the sea, and it's eaten by the plankton, it becomes the fishes' meal. And when that bigger fish with the poo still inside, swims up onto the shore and gets eaten alive. A grizzly bear that poos on a dead piece of sand, so it can spring to life and become poo for the land!!!! It's the poo of the antelope, the poo of the giraffe, it crawls into the earth, and becomes the blades of grass, the grass is eaten by the cattle, which comes out the other end, to make food for humans, and start all over again!
Cornwallis: (in Brian McKnight mixed with Temptations type voice) I'm the poo of the antelope! That flows onto the ground!
Mr. Hankey: Becomes the grass of tomorrow, which the grazers turnaround!
Cornwallis: So I'm the leg of a leopard, and the wings of the hen!
Mr.Hankey and Cornwallis: Which becomes dinner for the humans, and turns back to poo again!!! That's the cycle, the cycle of poo!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cornwallis: We fixed it!
Mrs. Hankey: What's that kids?! They got your father's penis working again!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Hankey: Kids, Christmas is back on! We gotta all go get that old drive-in working again!
Hankey Kids: Okay!
Mrs. Hankey: That's not the only thing we gotta get working again, if you know what I mean. [Points at Mr. Hankey's "crotch"]
Mr. Hankey: Why, why, why do you have to say things like that in front of people?
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. Hankey: (to Mayor's aide) You wanna bet me I won't take off my clothes and run naked through this parking lot?
Mr. Hankey: Honey, please don't start.
Mrs. Hankey: I didn't start it! He was lookin' at my breasts!
Mr. Hankey: They're not real, ya know!
Mrs. Hankey: Don't you say that!
Mr. Hankey: Oh, big secret, everyone can tell they're made of silicorn!
 • Rating: Unrated

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