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Stan: That's it, Sparky! Kick his ass!
Cartman: Heh, he's doing something to his ass. He's not kicking his ass, but he's definitely doing something to his ass.
Stan: Sparky, bad dog!

Why, I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King.


Oh my! I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938!


I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant!


Stanley, gay people, well, gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior.

Mr. Garrison

Cartman: Wait a minute, why the hell does he get an A-?
Mr. Garrison: Eric, Stanley just might lead our team to victory against the Middle Park Cowboys for the first time in decades. And we treat star athletes better 'cause they're better people.

Chef: What's the matter Stan, you seem down.
Stan: I just, I can't concentrate because my dog is gay.
Chef: Well, you know what they say. You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.
Mr. Garrison: Oh, stop filling his head with that queer-loving propaganda.
Chef: Say what? You of all people should be sympathetic.
Mr. Garrison: What do you mean?
Chef: Well, you're gay aren't you?
Mr. Garrison: What? What the hell are you talking about? I am not gay.
Chef: Well, you sure do act like it.
Mr. Garrison: I just act that way to get chicks, dumb ass.

Ned: What are we doing here?
Jimbo: Well Ned, we usually kidnap the Middle Park mascot, but this year, we're gonna blow it up!

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