South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 2 Episode 2: "Cartman's Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut" Quotes
Chef: (after lights come back on) Is everybody okay?? That sounded like a gunshot!
Officer Barbrady: Oh, my god! Look!
(Everybody sees Mephesto's body, which has been shot at.)
Kenny: (mumbling) Oh my god, they killed Mephesto!
Kyle: You bastard!
I just thought of something! Oh no wait, that's subtraction.
Officer Barbrady
Greenfield: This story's got everything: people, furniture, talking! It's a real American story!
John Walsh: We seem to have lost our link up to the South Park crew, so I guess we'll going to our feature movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Narrator: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Was it- Jimbo? Mr. Garrison? Chef?
Cartman: Hey, who's screwing with the lights?!
Narrator: Who IS screwing with the lights? Is it: Barbrady? Or Jimbo? Or the 1991 Denver Broncos?
Cartman: (to Kenny) That is really starting to piss me off!
Greenfield: Great! We'll get started with auditions immediately. What part should we cast first?
Announcer 1: Who will the director cast first? Will it be Mr. Garrison? Officer Barbrady, Chef?
Mayor: My God, what a harrowing tale of human drama this is. All of us doing what we must to survive.
Jimbo: It is amazing what people can do under stress. Just look at the pyramids. Nobody knows how they built those. Or who.
Narrator: Who built the pyramids? Was it- the Babylonians? Officer Barbrady? Samaritans?
Cartman: (after learning who his father is) Oh... Man, this is ****ing weak...
Stan: Dude! You're a big fatass, and your mom's a hermapholite!
Mrs. Cartman: I'm sorry I never told you, Eric... I just thought, maybe it would be a little shocking to you.
Cartman: (sarcastically) Oh, well, gee whiz! You think so, Mom??
Mephesto: Well, that's that. Thank you all for playing.
Cartman: No no, wait a minute! Wait! If... If she's my dad, then...who's my mom?!
Announcer: Who is Eric Cartman's mother? Is it: Mrs. Crabtree? Sheila Broflovski? The Mayor?
Cartman: AAH, FORGET IT!!!
Jimbo: Well, looks like we're not going anywhere for a long time.
Director: We're snowed in?
Mayor: Yes! We're trapped!
Mr. Garrison: Like sailors on a submarine...
Mayor: My god, this is the worst storm I have ever seen!
Director's Assistant: Oh, I have to get out of here; I haven't eaten since breakfast.
Officer Barbrady: Yeah, I'm getting kind of hungry, too!
Jimbo: I hope you all don't realize what we're facing here... Our only option might be to...eat each other to stay alive.
(Everybody in the building gasps in horror.)
Director: Uh... It's only been, like, four hours... Aren't you people resorting to cannablism a little quickly?
Jimbo: That's a while to live, Mr. Director. I don't eat plenty, but if some of us must die so the rest can stay alive so be it.
Mayor: But...how do we decide who?
Jimbo: Well, we'll draw straws...
Director: Now, wait just a minute! You've all had a big breakfast! Can't you people live without eating for a while??
Jimbo: Calm down, soldier! We need every person here to keep his head! Barbrady, fetch some straws.
Director: Well, who the hell made you the boss, anyway??
Announcer: Who the hell made Jimbo boss? Was it: Officer Barbrady? Chef? Mr. Garrison?
