South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Mr. Garrison: Mr- Mr. Twig, are you OK? Mr- Mr. Twig?
(He lifts up the covers and notices Mr. Twig broken)
Mr. Garrison: (Screams) MR. TWIG IS BROKEN IN HALF!! WHO DID THIS!? YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU BASTARD!!

Look at the monkey. Look at the silly little monkey. (Juror's head explodes)

Johnnie Cochran

Elton John: Wake up Wendy, smell the coffee
Kyle: (To Stan) Dude, that's your song for Wendy!
Cartman: Ha-ha! You're a wuss! (Stan hits him)

Look Elton, you are a great singer, but a retarded monkey could write better lyrics.

(When Mr. Garrison takes Mr. Twig to the hospital for his burns.
Mr. Garrison: Well, is he going to be all right doctor?
Doctor: Uh. It's a stick.

Chef told me to get a pompadour hat. I thought he said "bite the head of a bat" and the rest is history.

Ozzy

Stan: Oh my god, Ozzy Osbourne bit Kenny's head off!
Kyle: You bastard!

I will do the German dance for you, it's fun and gay and tra-la-la. I hope you will enjoy my dance, fiddle-ey-aye, fiddle-ey-aye. Would you like some sauerkraut, German boy, German boy? Yes, I'd like some sauerkraut, boy I'm hungry!

Cartman

Stan: Dude, Chef is gone.
Kyle: No more Chef.
Cartman: No more salisbury steak and pecan pie. (sobs)

Now get the fudge out of my house.

Cous-cous: Nobody came again!
Chef: There there, Cous-cous. It'll be alright. Maybe you just need to change your image.
Cous-cous: What do you mean?
Chef: Nobody wants to see a guy named Cous-cous. You need a big, strong, beefy name.
Cous-cous: Beefy, like Tri-Tip!
Chef: That's not bad. Here, have some meat loaf.
(back to present day)
Meat Loaf: I owe everything to Chef.

Judge Moses: Mr. Chef, you've been found guilty for harrassing a major record label. The full fee of two million dollars will be handed over within 24 hours.
Chef: Do I look like I have two million dollars?
Judge Moses: Well, you have 24 hours to find it, or else you'll have to go to jail for eight million years!
Man: (whispering) It's actually for four years.
Judge Moses: Oh, sorry. You'll go to jail for four years.
Chef: This can't be happening!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 18 in total

South Park Season 2 Episode 14 Quotes

Look at the monkey. Look at the silly little monkey. (Juror's head explodes)

Johnnie Cochran

Mr. Garrison: Mr- Mr. Twig, are you OK? Mr- Mr. Twig?
(He lifts up the covers and notices Mr. Twig broken)
Mr. Garrison: (Screams) MR. TWIG IS BROKEN IN HALF!! WHO DID THIS!? YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU BASTARD!!