Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South-park

Gerald: You see, son, fads come and go. And this "Chin-po-ko Mon" is obviously nothing more than a fad. You don't have to be a part of it. In fact, you can make an even stronger statement by saying to your peers, "I'm not going to be a part of this fad, because I'm an individual." Do you understand?
Kyle: Yes. Yes, I do, Dad. Now let me tell you how it works in the real world. In the real world, I can either get a Chinpokomon, or I can be the only kid without one, which singles me out, and causes the other kids to make fun of me and kick my ass.
Gerald: Hmm. Good point; here's $10. On second thought, here's $20 pick up one for your brother too.

My fellow Americans, I wish to address the concerns many of us have over the growing number of Japanese military bases forming in the United States. The new Japanese emperor, Hirohito, has made our own children into fighter pilots who will soon fly to Hawaii and attack Pearl Harbor. I spoke with Mr. Hirohito this morning, and he assured me that I have a very large penis. He said it was mammoth, dinosauric, and absolutely dwarfed his penis, which, he assured me, was nearly microscopic in size. My penis, he said, was most likely one of the biggest on the planet. I applaud Mr. Hirohito in his honesty. Thank you.

Bill Clinton

Dude, you're just jealous because I'm Chinpoko Master!

Kyle

When his wife asks him where he's been, just use the action button and Alabama Man will bust her lip open.

Alabama Man Commercial

You can take Alabama man to the bowling alley where he drinks heavily and chews tobacco.

Alabama Man Commercial

Chinpokomon Trainer: I've got to collect all Chinpokomon! I've got to collect them all so I can become World Crown Chinpoko-Master! Oh!
Japanese Spokeswoman: All Chinpokomon, and you will have happy feeling-su!

(in high-pitched voice) But, moooooooom, I have to get the first one so that people will think I'm kewwwwwl!!

Cartman

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

Displaying quotes 10 - 17 of 17 in total