South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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So God makes it rain frogs? That just seems kind of mean to frogs, Kyle!

Cartman

Hello young man. Let me off start off by saying Sooper Foods is absolutely not an anti-Semitic company. But, if your people do have a monster creature that feeds on Easter children, we just wanted to let you know that there's a sacrifice for it in the park that is totally fun and safe to eat. Thank you.

Mr. Billings

Mr. Billings: Our entire business is based on fun and safety!
Cartman: This isn't safe or fun!

Those cryptozoologists don't know what they're talking about. They just gave me a case of the Hebrew-jeebies, that's all

Cartman

What you're looking at there is a Jewpacabra. It's like a sasquatch, only more elusive, more ferocious, and a little more greedy.

Cartman

Mr. Billings: What are the chances that Jewpacabra is real?
Peters: I'm estimating around .000000001%.
Mr. Billings: I can't afford to take that chance.

You can't scare a Jewpacabra! Don't forget Butters, we're dealing with a creature that drinks blood, hides in the night, and has no belief in the divinity of Christ.

Cartman
Displaying all 7 quotes

South Park Season 16 Episode 4 Quotes

Mr. Billings: What are the chances that Jewpacabra is real?
Peters: I'm estimating around .000000001%.
Mr. Billings: I can't afford to take that chance.

You can't scare a Jewpacabra! Don't forget Butters, we're dealing with a creature that drinks blood, hides in the night, and has no belief in the divinity of Christ.

Cartman