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South-park

Liane: Eric's not fat. He's just big boned.
Kyle: Well he must have a huge bone up his ass, then!

Mr. Garrison: Nothing ever went wrong in this town before that evil Korn band showed up.
Sharon Marsh: Well I say we go find them and kick their devil-worshipping butts out of town!

Cartman: Maybe we should shove a stick up her ass and use her as a puppet. Ooooooooh! Scaaarry Grraaanddmma!
Kyle: Alright Cartman, that does it! That's my Grandma, you show her some Goddamn respect!

Halloween is an abomination of God, a celebration of the occult!

Father Maxi

C'mon Ned, this isn't a whorehouse; it's a horROR house.

Uncle Jimbo

(Guys from graveyard at town meeting.)
Guy #1: We're here to inform you that someone has been stealing bodies from the local graveyard, most likely to have sex with them. Here's what having sex with a dead body might look like. (guy #2 holds up a large card.)
Crowd: EWW!
Guy #1: And here's what having sex with a dead body might sound like. (Guy #2 proceeds to open a jar of mayonnaise and repeatedly ram his fist into it, causing a sick slurping sound)
Crowd: UGH!
Person in crowd: Excuse me, how is this helping?

(The kids are plotting to scare the 5th graders with a dead body.)
Cartman: Then where the hell are we gonna get a dead body?
Stan: We're gonna dig up Kyle's dead gramma!
Kyle: Yeah fat ass, we're gonna dig upDIG UP KYLE'S DEAD GRAMMA?!

(to Nibblet) Ahh! You goddamn chicken from outer space! (He chases Nibblet as Nibblet flies away.)

Cartman

Oh sweet. The "Life-Sized Blow-up Antonio Banderas Love Doll." What a cool Christmas present.

Cartman
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