South Park Season 1 Episode 12: "Mecha-Streisand" Quotes
I said, 'Kyle, I will kick you in the nuts.' So I kicked him squ-ah in the nuts until he cried like Nancy Kerrigan.Cartman
Kyle: Wait, isn't there some rule about not getting to cars with strangers?
Cartman: No, not when money's involved stupid!
Barbra Streisand: I'm Barbra Streisand!!
Barbra Streisand: So!...well...So i'm a very famous and very important individual!
Stan: Like John Elway important?!
Barbra Streisand: What!
Stan: Do you know John Elway?
Barbra Streisand: No!
Stan: Oh, so you're really famous and important, but you don't know John Elway...
Guy on the Pony: Thanks Tom, the little eight year old was very shocked indeed when he came across a triangular object
Kyle: Well I was just digging around, and I was like 'dude! i found the triangle!' and my friends were all like 'dude' and I was all 'dude'...
Cartman: I hate Barbra Streisand! I HATE her! Make her go away!
Stan: My mom always said there were no monsters, but there are. Aren't there, Chef?
Barbra Streisand: (in disguise while talking about the triangle) I want to give you boys a cash reward for finding it; it's worth a lot of money to me...
Stan: Really? Wow, no wonder that Barbra Streisand lady was after it...
Barbra Streisand: Oh, uh, heh heh... Who is that, I might ask?
Kyle: She's this famous old lady who wishes she was still only 45.
(The boys all laugh and Barbra Streisand glares at them.)
Stan: Yeah. You should have seen her nose; it was big enough to land stealth bombers on!
(The boys continue to laugh and Barbra Streisand becomes angered.)
Cartman: Yeah, and talk about a bitch! All my life, I have never-
Barbra Streisand: ENOUGH!!! (the boys stop laughing) I mean, ha ha ha...
Officer Barbrady: Shouldn't you kids be in school?
Stan: It's Saturday.
Officer Barbrady: No excuses! Now move along, you little trouble makers!
Stan: Robert Smith is the greatest person who ever lived!
Jesus: Our saviour!
Officer Barbrady: What seems to be the problem?
Barbra Streisand: Problem? No problem, officer... I was just introducing myself to these fine young boys.
Cartman: Nuh-uh! She was being a total bitch!
Mayor's Aide: Mayor! Barbra Streisand's attacking the town!
Mayor: I heard! Call the National Guard! (to herself) We'll get you, you bitch! And to think, I actually watched your HBO special!