South Park Season 5 Episode 9: "Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants" Quotes
(after being blown up) Terrorists is the KWAZIEST people!
- Permalink: Terrorists is the KWAZIEST people!
It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't say here or else it will choke on the sweet air of freedom.Cartman
- Permalink: It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't say here or else it will c...
Kyle: Stan, I don't think we're supposed to be in the military base; they might shoot us.
Stan: I don't care; we're going!
Towelie: (appearing in front of the boys) Don't forget to bring a towel!
(Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny groan.)
Cartman: Oh, no. Not Towelie...
Towelie: When going some place new, you should always bring a towel!
Stan: Okay. Thanks, Towelie.
Towelie: You wanna get high?
Cartman: No, we don't wanna get high!
Towelie: So... You mean you don't like having Towelie around?
Cartman: That's right!
Towelie: So am I to understand there's been a..."Towelie ban"?
(Towelie laughs and the boys groan loudly.)
Stan: Goddamnit, get the hell out of here, Towelie!
Towelie: (leaving) Alright, see ya!
- Permalink: Stan, I don't think we're supposed to be in the military base; t...
Hey look what the postman brought me! It's a big brown package from Afghanistan!Stan
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Sharon, you've been watching CNN for about 8 weeks now. Don't you want to watch something else?Randy
- Permalink: Sharon, you've been watching CNN for about 8 weeks now. Don't yo...
Another high alert stands for terrorist activity this weekend. The government says that bad things are likely to happen. Meanwhile the world continues to back down from their support of the United States saying that they were really only kidding to begin with.News Reporter
- Permalink: Another high alert stands for terrorist activity this weekend. T...
Ms. Choksondik: Alright, children, now I've sure you already know, but the president has asked that all American children send one dollar to the children of Afghanistan. Now I've got a list of addresses and we're all going to chip in...
Cartman: Ha! I'm not giving a dollar to those towel-heads!
Ms. Choksondik: Eric, the Afghan people need our help!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry, but I thought we're at war with these assholes!
Wendy: We're at war with terrorists, fat-ass, not with Afghanistan! And the reason you'd care is so you don't give them a dollar!
Cartman: (stands up) That dollar buys me a chocolate milk for lunch! What, you want me to get a regular milk for 50 cents?? Now look... It's not our fault that terrorists hate us; we're just kids. We're not the one's dropping bombs on them; we're just caught in the middle. It's not our fault.
Wendy: The Afghan people are caught in the middle, too.
Cartman: Yes, but they're sand-monkeys!
Ms. Choksondik: Alright, children, settle down! We're all sending dollars to the children of Afghanistan, that's it, end of discussion!
Cartman: (sits down) GODDAMMIT, I HATE REGULAR MILK!!!
- Permalink: Alright, children, now I've sure you already know, but the presi...
Oh Jesus man! They're gonna get me! Oh Christ!Tweek
- Permalink: Oh Jesus man! They're gonna get me! Oh Christ!
Pilot: (After noticing the boys came out from the hatch) What the hell?
Kyle: Cartman farted in there. We have to breath it in for 20 hours!
Cartman: It didn't smell that bad. You guys are overreacting.
Pilot: I don't smell any...(the pilot inhales, then pukes twice and faints)
Cartman: Oh, whatever!
Kyle: You son of a bith, Cartman. You don't farted when you're locked in a small space with other people!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry! Next time I ask my fart nicely if it wouldn't mind staying tucked away for a while!
- Permalink: What the hell? Cartman farted in there. We have to breath it i...