But mom, I have to tell Chef that he's marrying a succubus!

Cartman

• Permalink: But mom, I have to tell Chef that he's marrying a succubus!
• Added: February 20, 2010

(to Eye Doctor) If you call me piggy one more time, I am going to seriously rip your god damn nuts off with my bare hands!

Cartman

• Permalink: If you call me piggy one more time, I am going to seriously rip ...
• Added: February 20, 2010

That bitch, she's stealing Chef from us.

Kyle

• Permalink: That bitch, she's stealing Chef from us.
• Added: February 20, 2010

Stan: We can't fall asleep. We gotta nail that song. You got the tape recorder, Cartman? Cartman?? (taps him)
Kyle: He's asleep. Wake up fat ass!
Cartman: What what what?
Stan: Goddamnit! You can't fall asleep.
Cartman: I wasn't sleeping, I was just thinking really hard!

• Permalink: We can't fall asleep. We gotta nail that song. You got the tape ...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Eye Doctor: All you have to do is read the letters. Can you see the letters?
Cartman: Yes.
Eye Doctor: All right, read them out for me.
Cartman: (reading from the card) I AMA LITTLE PIG E. Hey! That does it! Mom!
Eye Doctor: No, no that was just a weird coincidence. I did not know how that happened. (reads the card) I AMA LITTLE PIG E. Oh, what are the odds of that.

• Permalink: All you have to do is read the letters. Can you see the letters?...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Receptionist: Hey, aren't you that cute little kid from Jerry McGuire?
Cartman: (uninterested) Uh, yeah, sure, sure.
Receptionist: Wow, you really got fat.
Cartman: Hey!

• Permalink: Hey, aren't you that cute little kid from Jerry McGuire? Uh, ...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Cartman: Hey dudes.
Stan: Whoa, what happened to your eyes, Cartman?
Cartman: My asshole eye doctor made them all dialbated.
Kyle: Why?
Cartman: Why? I'll tell you why, because he's a god damn asshole, and that's about it.

• Permalink: Hey dudes. Whoa, what happened to your eyes, Cartman? My ass...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Stan: You're Chef's parents?
Chef's Mother: Yes, all his life.

• Permalink: You're Chef's parents? Yes, all his life.
• Added: February 20, 2010

Eye Doctor: How's my little piggy today?
Cartman: Hey! Don't call me a little piggy!
Eye Doctor: I just say that because you're my little buddy.
Cartman: I'm just here for an eye exam alright? Keep the fat jokes to yourself.
Eye Doctor: Hop up on the chair. Don't break it now.
Cartman: God Dammit!

• Permalink: How's my little piggy today? Hey! Don't call me a little piggy...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Chef's Dad: And do ya know what that alien said?
Chef' Mama: Tree-fiddy.
Chef's Dad: Dammit! Will ya let me tell the story? He said tree-fiddy, and that's how I knew it wasn't no alien, it was that Goddamn Loch Ness Monster again!

• Permalink: And do ya know what that alien said? Tree-fiddy. Dammit! Wil...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Kyle: I wonder how come Cartman's not in school today?
Stan: Yeah. Usually when he ditches school, he still shows up for lunch.

• Permalink: I wonder how come Cartman's not in school today? Yeah. Usually...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Cartman: AH! IT'S THE SUCCUBUS!
Veronica: What?
Stan: A succubus: a demon from hell sent to suck the life out of Chef

• Permalink: AH! IT'S THE SUCCUBUS! What? a demon from hell sent to suck ...
• Added: February 20, 2010