South Park

South Park "Trapper Keeper" Quotes

(Kyle sneaks into the Cartman-Trapper Keeper monster to shut it down)
Cartman: (Sounding like HAL from 2001) What are you doing, Kyle?
Kyle: I have to shut down your CPU!
Cartman: (Like HAL) I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Kyle.
Kyle: Well, screw you, fat ass!
Cartman: (normal voice) Screw you!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Filmore: If I'm elected class president, I will call for better chairs. And, on Fridays, I'll add two minutes to nap time.
Garrison: Very enthralling. Ok, Ike. How about you?
Ike: Cookie Monster! Ice.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: (singing) I don't want to wait, for my trapper keeper to be over!
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Cop: Oh my God, now there's two!
Stan: No, I think the other one is Rosie O'Donnell.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Dammit! I thought 4th grade was going to be different.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Cartman, you might as well open up, we're just going to have Bill Cosby bust the door down after he finishes having sex with your mom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bill Cosby: (sees the blob Cartman has become) There's got to be a part of your friend still in there...
Cartman Trapper-Keeper: (Farts)
Kyle: Oh my god.Cartman is still in there.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: You can't have an election with just one person running, what's the fun in that? Ike, how about you? You're a genius.
(Ike looks at the others glaring at him)
Ike: No.
Mr. Garrison: Okay, our next nominee is Ike the Genius.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bill Cosby: Well that does it! (takes out laser gun)
Kyle: Hey! What are you doing!
Bill Cosby: I'm afraid i have no other choice! I have to kill him!
Kyle: Oh! Ok.
Stan: That's fine. No wait!
Bill Cosby: What?
Stan: Can I do it?
Bill Cosby: Oh, I suppose... (give gun to Stan)
Stan: Sweet! Kiss your ass goodbye fat boy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: Kyle saved your life! The least you could do is thank him!
Cartman: Alright, alright......Kyle......(opens mouth. episode ends)
 • Rating: Unrated

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