South Park

South Park Quotes (Page 2)

Season 16 Episode 5: "Butterballs"

Dr. Oz: We all know that bullying is an epidemic. Like AIDS, bullying is escalating and is spread mostly by penises.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stephen Stotch: Oh, well don't fart on grandma, she's trying to enjoy her ham.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stephen Stotch: Our Linda certainly does know her way around a pork.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Just be careful you don't end up naked and jackin' it in San Diego.
Stan: What the hell does that mean?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: You're gonna stop bullying. With Cartman singing about his vagina.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bucky Bailey: You may only have an internet degree, but why don't you start acting like a real school counselor, and not a backwoods little dork, mmkay?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Cartman: I have balls.
Red: Yeah, little swishy boba tea balls.
Cartman: Still balls.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: Dude, did a bully take your lunch money again week?
Butters: Yeah.
Stan: That's the third day in a row, you gotta tell a teacher.
Butters: Nah, I'm not a tattle-tale.
Stan: Then write the principal an anonymous letter.
Butters: Nah, I'm not an Anonymous Andy.
Clyde: So just get a bigger bully to beat the bully up.
Butters: Nah, I don't want kids calling me kids calling me a cliche conflict resolution Kevin.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: No no no, I'm telling you guys, music videos have devolved to nothing but pretty girls, wearing skintight clothes, singing about their vajayjay. Used to be chicks talking about relationships, now it's all my vajayjay this, my vajayjay that. But clearly that's what sells.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Season 16 Episode 4: "Jewpacabra"

Cartman: So God makes it rain frogs? That just seems kind of mean to frogs, Kyle!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Mr. Billings: Hello young man. Let me off start off by saying Sooper Foods is absolutely not an anti-Semitic company. But, if your people do have a monster creature that feeds on Easter children, we just wanted to let you know that there's a sacrifice for it in the park that is totally fun and safe to eat. Thank you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Billings: Our entire business is based on fun and safety!
Cartman: This isn't safe or fun!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Those cryptozoologists don't know what they're talking about. They just gave me a case of the Hebrew-jeebies, that's all
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: What you're looking at there is a Jewpacabra. It's like a sasquatch, only more elusive, more ferocious, and a little more greedy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Billings: What are the chances that Jewpacabra is real?
Peters: I'm estimating around .000000001%.
Mr. Billings: I can't afford to take that chance.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: You can't scare a Jewpacabra! Don't forget Butters, we're dealing with a creature that drinks blood, hides in the night, and has no belief in the divinity of Christ.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 16 Episode 3: "Faith Hilling"

Newscaster: And so in the face of war, a little boy reminds us all what being human really means. The message is unclear, but it doesn't matter as long as you give the audience a song, celebrity bashing, and Republican presidential candidates dancing around with boobs. It's called pandering.
 • Rating: Unrated

Son: What are those boys doing, Daddy?
Father: Oh, I think they're Faith Hilling, Bobby. It's a little before your time
Son: How droll.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Saying something is so 2000 and anything is so 2009, you asswipe!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: How can we be passé, we're only in 4th grade.
 • Rating: Unrated

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