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South-park

Cartman: So here's the deal, General Tso, Mr. President: when the Chinese make the sequels, I get to play the part of Luke Skywalker's son. Cartman Skywalker.
General Tso: That was not the deal! We will not be bullied by you!
Cartman: Then I guess we're about to play a game of chicken, General Tso!
Jimmy: I get it, "General Tso's Chicken!"

Stan: Just one thing, Morgan Freeman: how come every time something convoluted needs explaining, you show up?
Morgan Freeman: Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.

Wow, the president eats at Red Lobster! He's just a normal guy like me!

South Park Resident

Stan: I don't understand that stuff at all, I need Morgan Freeman to explain it to me.
Jimmy: Yeah, I love when Morgan Freeman explains stuff.
Clyde: Whenever I'm confused about what's going on in a movie, I'm always so relieved when Morgan Freeman shows up and explains the plot to me.

Obama: I don't know how they did it, but the Chinese secured my victory. I have to fulfill my obligation.
Presidential Staff: And what if General Tso suddenly gets the courage to go to the press with all this?
Obama: Don't worry, everyone knows General Tso's chicken.

Cartman: Pretty sweet, huh?
Kyle: What the hell is this?
Cartman: What's it look like? Hundreds of thousands of votes from all the swing states.
Kyle: I don't believe it.
Cartman: No really, there are states full of swingers. Bunch of perverts if you ask me.

Flight Attendant: Would you like some warm nuts, sir?
Cartman: Haahaha! Warm nuts, she says!

Vengeance is mine!

Jesus

There are green scauses for recycling, blue scauses for kitties, and pink scauses that focus on nothing but titties!

P.F. Pityef

Jesus Asterisk Christ, Stan! People are feeling really cheated by this!

Cartman

Butters: I asked preacher, what about the New Testament? And he says well you still should ought to read it, but you gonna need to put an asterisk next to Jesus' name when ever it comes up!
Cartman: So weak, dude. Dark times, brah. Dark times.

I know people that paid ten bucks for those braclets. I bet they feel pretty stupid now.

Randy
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 1492 in total

South Park Quotes

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron

Mr. Garrison Sr.: Would you have sex with your son to save his life?
Man at bar 1: Oh, this is one of them scruples questions ain't it?
Man at bar 2: No, no I got a better one: Would you have sex with your motherto save your father's life?
Man at bar 1: You mean like if someone had a gun to your father's head and said if you don't have sex with her, I'll kill him?
Bartender: If a killer put a knife to my throat and said "have sex with your mother or I'm gonna kill your father while having sex with you, I would have sex with myself.

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