South Park

South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

Latest Review

Obama Wins!
"Obama Wins!"

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Season: 16 15 14 5 4 3 2 1

South Park Quotes (Page 2)

Season 16 Episode 12: "A Nightmare on Face Time"

Cartman: CARTMAN SMASH!
 • Rating: Unrated
Cartman: It's Stan's stupid Captain America costume, that's what throwing everybody off! How's people supposed to get that I'm the Hulk when Captain America is on freaking FaceTime?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Person: Oh, wow! Look honey, it's Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and Bruce Vilanch!
Cartman: I'm not Bruce Vilanch!
Person: Oh, what are you supposed to be? Oh right, you're supposed to be that uh, uh..
Cartman: The Incredible...
Person: Oh, The Incredible Chaz Bono!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Stan: My dad is kinda losing it. To be honest, I feel kinda bad for him.
Randy: Stan, get off the damn phone, people are gonna start calling to reserve movies, gah!
Stan: Oh never mind, I hate him again.
 • Rating: Unrated
Stan: Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs!
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Stan: I think something might be wrong with dad.
Sharon: Duh, you think?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Randy: Don't mind Randy, he's just losing his mind, durrrrrrr!
 • Rating: Unrated
Randy: Oh, I get it. Video stores are so old, they have ghosts in them. Okay, thanks, I get it!
 • Rating: Unrated
Randy: How many copies of "Meet the Fockers" do we have, Shelly?
Shelly: Six. We still have six!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 16 Episode 11: "Going Native"

Butters: What? Really? But I thought I was totally jealous of him! He's just married to Jennifer Garner? Oh my gosh, i feel so much better!
Kenny: You do?
Butters: Yeah, huh. I like that Ben Affleck guy. He's a good filmmaker. C'mon Kenny, I guess I owe the kids at school an apology. Did you see Argo, Kenny? It's a pretty good movie. Ben Affleck has a lot going for him. Not everything, but a lot. Whoopee!
 • Rating: Unrated
Butters: You shouldn't be able to be good-looking, and be with Jennifer Lopez, and be a good director! alright, alright, fine! Argo is a good movie! There, I admitted it! I told people it didn't hold up, but it holds up, gosh darn it! Ben Affleck has everything, grah!
 • Rating: Unrated
Tourist Husband: They just pushed on to airplanes and said we weren't welcome any more!
Tourist Wife: Then a little boy called me a skank!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Hawaiian Native: The Mahalo Rewards card is being eliminated. They're trying to say our points are no longer going to be accepted.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Kenny: [Stan reading from letter] He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony will finally take place on the morrow.
Stan: On the morrow? What the **** is wrong with Kenny?
Kenny: To wit, I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, and I must admit it will be with some melancholy I will leave this island and return home. I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach too. She had the nicest boobs ever. Humbly yours, Kenneth.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Butters: But what does being Hawaiian have to do with me being like an emo chick on her period?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Butters: Why don't you shut up, Dad, and stick it in your ear for crying out loud!
 • Rating: Unrated
Butters: You're all fake, and stuck up, and none of you have the courage to tell Jimmy his jokes aren't funny! The only kid here with a sense of dignity is Kenny, and the rest of you have heads up your butts!
 • Rating: Unrated
Kyle: Butters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes!
 • Rating: Unrated
Cartman: I'm telling you, Butters beat the crap out of Scott and then locked himself in the bathroom!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 16 Episode 10: "Insecurity"

Security Guy: Ahh! Who are you?
Cartman: [in Bane voice] It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan. You should have respected my authoritah.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "South Park" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!


Season: 16 15 14 5 4 3 2 1
Total Season 16 Quotes: 114
Total South Park Quotes: 1483
SheKnows entertainment