South Park

South Park Quotes (Page 4)

Season 16 Episode 8: "Sarcastaball"

Roger Goodell: As commissioner of the NFL, I am so thrilled to see our nation's youth embrace sarcastaball over traditional football. But oh, why stop there? Since football is *so barabaric*, we should change too! So let's give a big welcome to the new coach of the Denver Broncos, Randy Marsh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Let's do this. Stan, hook up my bra.
 • Rating: Unrated

Randy: Yeah, let's do that! We've got an economy in the toilet, a big election coming up, but this country's #1 priority should be making football safer!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
Randy: Yeah, Stan, this is what people want! Don't worry, you look really cool!
 • Rating: Unrated

Randy: Oh, they'd love it! A sport where safety is all that matters? How about we call it sarcastaball?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Randy: Yeah, the players should all wear bras! And instead of helmets, they should wear little tin-foil hats, because you know, it's the future, and we shouldn't be so barbaric!
Principal Victoria: How will the bras and tin-foil hats make it safer?
Randy: Oh, you're all not getting it, see, while we're at it, we'll have a balloon instead of a ball, and whoever catches the ballon will tries to run while all the other players hug!
 • Rating: Unrated

Butters: Boy, I just don't get football. Guess that's why I suck at it.
Stan: You don't suck at football, Butters. You suck at all sports.
Butters: That's true!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 16 Episode 7: "Cartman Finds Love"

Cartman: Don't let society dictate who you can and can't be with. Kyle, I love you man! You can run all you want, try and pretend you like girls, but dammit, when we kiss there's magic! Don't let it go, Kyle!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: I'm a racist, huh? I'm a racist? It's how nature works, Kyle. Look, what about Luke Covina and Maria Sanchez? Is it a coincidence they ended up together?
Stan: Actually, I heard they're together because they got locked in the school gym overnight a few nights ago.
Cartman: Oh, did they? I hadn't heard about that.
Cupid Cartman: Teehee, that was us, remember, Eric?
Cartman: Shh, quiet Cupid me!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: What the hell are you doing telling people we're a gay couple?
Cartman: Oh, heard that through the grapevine, did you?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nicole: Look! Somebody left a deli platter. And board games. And massage oil.
Token: Oh. Good.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Guys! Guys! Get outside! It's the Batmobile! Batmobile you guys!
Jimmy: I don't see a Batmobile.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Love is like taking a dump, Butters. Sometimes it works itself out. But sometimes, you need to give it a nice hard slimy push.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Cartman: Anyway, thanks a lot, and stay away from my man, bitch.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Aw, Token's shy! Oh my god, that is adorable.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 16 Episode 6: "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining"

Stan: The hardest part about it is knowing you can't take it back! It was a 5th generation nano, so I can't trade it in anywhere!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: How many iPod nanos is friendship worth? I guess, one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Real Kyle: So you intended us for us to go ziplining all along? Why, Stan?
Real Stan: If you signed up 3 friends...you got an iPod nano.
Real Kyle: You sold us out for an iPod nano?!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Stan: And I finally, I couldn't hold it in any more. I said "Stop it!"
Real Stan: Stop it!
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Cartman: If I crap in a forest, the blood will attract beavers, Kyle!
 • Rating: 4.2 / 5.0

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